10 Things You Miss Once You Become a Parent

We don’t often reminisce or miss our life before we had our girls. We love our children and feel so grateful that after several years of fertility treatment and IVF we were finally able to conceive. But there are those times where you sometimes lose your mind. You know, like when you declare you’re doing literally nothing with your kids over the summer, or when your husband is out of town, or all of the above. 

But one night while laying in bed, my husband and I started talking about the things we miss about the good old days, and this list was born.

So if you haven’t had kids, don’t read this. Please, I beg you, I don’t want to scare you. Being a mom is simply awesome, and the love you feel is intoxicating. But it’s also exhausting. So this list is for the rest of us who are slowly suffering from sleep deprivation.  

 10 Things You Miss Once You Become a Parent

1. Sleeping In – You know what’s not in the What To Expect books? How freaking early kids wake up. Like all the time. No matter what age, or stage, they rise with the sun, or before the sun. Unless it’s Monday and a school day. Then they sleep super late and scream their bloody heads off whey YOU wake THEM up. I can’t wait until they are teens so I can wake their a**es up at 6:00 am every day. 

2. Being Bored – When was the last time you sat down and said, “Man I’m BORED!” Yeah, me neither. Because when you’re a parent there’s always something to do, and the house chores are never flipping ending. 

3. Peace and Quiet – OMG the noise. If it’s not the chatter, crying, babbling, or singing then it’s the TV, iPad, or some other noisy toy that is so obnoxious you can’t believe it was ever invented. This is precisely why a mom’s favorite time of day is bedtime. Because the house is finally quiet. 

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4. Having Extra Money – When you get pregnant, you understand the cost of the crib, diapers, bottles and other baby paraphernalia. What you can never properly prepare for are the other expenses. Let’s see, there’s dance lessons, food, travel hockey, snacks, school fundraisers, more snacks, piano lessons, a Costco membership so you can get the snacks for less…you catch my drift. I wish I had some cash lying around so I could buy a new bathing suit this year. But I have kids, so I’ll wear the same one I’ve had for the last three years.

5. Room on My Phone – I had a blackberry when I first had a baby eight years ago, so I couldn’t take great pictures and videos. But now? I go through at least 2,000 pictures a month! Plus their apps to keep them busy and quiet when you’re anywhere but home,  is there any room left on this device for me? 

6. Having Anything Belongs to Just You – Someone once ranted to me, “Watch out, once you become a mom you’ll never have anything that belongs to YOU anymore.” I scoffed. “I’ll never let my kids take my stuff!” Yeah right. Where are all my lip glosses you ask? I don’t know, probably in the five-year old’s bathroom vanity? Where are my earrings? My heels? My iPad? One of the girls were playing with it. I even tried my hardest to keep their apps off my Kindle, but that lasted a month. I am not looking forward to the teen years when my clothes go missing too. Hand off chicas!

7. Drinking Alcohol – You didn’t think we stopped drinking wine did you? I mean I need my Pinot Friday nights for my Say Yes to the Dress marathons. BUT…I haven’t had more than a glass in eons. I mean, is there anything worse than being hungover with loud screaming kids in the morning? 

8. A Clean House – It doesn’t matter how hard you work to clean your house. As soon as the kitchen island is empty or the laundry is finally put away, the hamper is full again and someone spills their chocolate milk all over the floor. When you have kids, cheerios and stale goldfish crackers are a given between our seat cushions. 

9. Naps – Wait, what are naps? 

10. Watching Grown Up TV Shows – It’s been eight years, can we please graduate from Disney Junior please? Or at least some non-animated shows? I’ll give my kids credit, they’ve been way more into reality shows like Cake Boss and non-cartoon movies. I’ll take it! But I miss GMA, and the actual news, anything not rated PG…you know? 

Yes, life was simpler before kids. We had more money, more time for vacations, and more time to read a book and just be bored. But you know what? I would have never found myself or learned how to be my best without them. Having children is the single most important thing I’ve ever done. Now if only they came with an instruction manual…and a mute button.

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Need a little more parenting humor? Then read the 30 Reasons Why My Kids Cried Today. You’re not alone! 

Or find out the best lesson I ever learned working in TV.