It was such a quick conversation with a wonderful woman from Broward County’s Animal Care Center. We were buying kitten food at the pet store and she brought in a mama cat and her two babies still nursing. The mom was not even a year old, and was skin and bones. She was so beautiful, yet starving and scared, and needed to nourish her babies. I asked the worker if I could buy a can of wet food and feed it to the mama cat who desperately needed it. She let me feed her, and we watched as mama cat inhaled the entire can. When her seven week old kittens tried to taste the new food, she pushed them away.
The worker watched smiling and said, “Good job mama, that’s your food.”
“It’s not good for the kittens to eat it?” I asked.
“No it’s fine, but mama needs to take care of herself.”
And that my friends was my “aha moment”. Of course she does.
How many times have we heard this? Moms need to put themselves first, or moms need to take care of themselves. It’s common sense really…but let’s be real, how often do any of us do this? This one brief moment in a pet store, as I was racing to car line was when I realized after nearly seven years of being a mom, I needed to take care of myself. Now. This is after all how Mother Nature intended it.
Mama cat wasn’t feeling guilty her babies were hungry, and she wasn’t worried they might not like the specs of green in the food. She knew she needed to survive, she needed to eat, and she needed to live. It’s a basic instinct, and for some reason one I’ve suppressed for far too long. I’ve been trying to be everything for everyone, and in the process neglecting my own well-being; my health and my happiness.
But then as I was driving to school the how crept in. How do we take care of ourselves when the responsibilities are mounting? How do we find the time to found our joy, when our kids are calling for us? How do we finally quiet our minds and actually listen to our inner voice? One of my favorite quotes of all time is
That’s the answer to the question HOW.
When you feel that life is becoming overwhelming, the waves crashing over your head, and the pressure and the weight of the world on your shoulders, that’s the moment you know it’s time to subtract. It’s time to eliminate something out of your life to make time for you.
Some of us use a schedule, so look at it. And if you don’t have one, make one. What is the one thing you can do less of to make time for you? Is it less volunteering at school? Less time at work? Less time cleaning your house? What can you remove today to find an hour a day for you?
Next ask for what you need. Tell your spouse, a friend, a family member, that you need this one hour to make room for something that brings you joy.
Then do it! Find the time to take care of yourself, and enjoy it. Savor the quiet, the peace, the stillness. Don’t think about what you’re not doing, be fully present in what you are doing. When and if the thoughts of guilt creep in, change your thoughts if possible, your emotions will follow.
It’s funny how life, the universe, God, whatever you believe in presents these life lessons to us. Lately I’ve been seeing several signs. A spiritual book normally on the shelves sitting on my nightstand. (And no I didn’t put it there.) An affirmation card of Louise Hay’s normally in my nightstand drawer sitting on the kitchen island. Sure my kids probably found them, thought they were pretty and brought them out. But still they were there.
And lastly, this brief moment in a pet store. A reminder that in life, no matter what species, all moms need to nourish themselves first. I’m finally listening, are you?
This is a great post. We moms tend to put our own needs last. I need to do some subtracting for sure!
This is exactly how I felt at the beginning of this year when I decided on the whole “MoreMEin2016 resolution. I really took it to heart and have been feeling happier and healthier than I have in ages! And you know what.. my kids are still fine, my husband is still fine, my job is still fine… You DESERVE to take care of yourself! I hope you listen to that mama cat and all the other signs!!!
So SO neglecting myself and just coasting through life. This is the reason I’m not blogging that much anymore. Since Bob’s Dad passed away, I’ve needed some time to figure out what to do now that Em is in school 5 days. Thanks for reading and glad to hear that you all are doing so well. Can’t wait to read your follow up to more ME!
I definitely believe in signs, and those are some really good ones. I often find myself stressed, and I love that saying you mentioned. I think I need to find something to subtract for sure.
Wow, beautiful lesson! Taking care of ourselves is so important, but we tend to forget that.
We all do don’t we?
I love this, Kristen. And I love that you saved that mama cat, too! 🙂
That is so nice of you to feed the mama cat!
And what a nice awakening moment. Cassidy will literally eat NOTHING all day and act the martyr, to put everyone else first. While I admire that, you can’t give from an empty well. I always tell him it’s ok to put on the oxygen mask first, so you’re energized for the kids.
I really do believe that somehow the world/universe/God…or whatever does help us make the right decisions for ourselves. I’m really excited to see Gabby Bernstein tomorrow. Her book, “The Universe Had Your Back” just hit shelves this week.
So much this. Also, let’s not run ourselves ragged doing the hard things. Sometimes, it’s ok to say “Yes, I’ll do x or y or z, but not q, and not all of the above.” Be selective not only about what you choose to give your time to, but HOW you spend that time.
This is such an easy concept, but so hard in practice! Thanks for the reminder.