When I first switched reluctantly from my beloved Blackberry to this iPhone contraption everyone was raving about, I posed a question to my actual friends on Facebook. (You know, when Facebook wasn’t a business and actual full of just real life friends?)
“Do I really want to add a Facebook app to my phone? Will I ever use it?”
The answers and comments came pouring in with how it keeps you from being bored when you’re in a waiting room, to, “Yes! you won’t regret it!”
Four years later, and I most definitely regret it.
I don’t know if it’s the end of NBA season and the school year, or the summer sun calling to me, but I have been feeling overwhelmed by my phone. Drowning in hundreds of emails every day in not one but three different inboxes, Pages Manager app with six Facebook pages always pinging, regular Facebook notifications all day long, Twitter texting me, and of course, text messages that never quit. Not to mention my four year old is constantly asking to play Snapchat. My phone is always with me despite the fact that I wrote an article years ago, (my first Huffington Post feature) called “Putting Away Your Phone and Being Present.”
I clearly haven’t been taking my own advice. So this weekend I did.
I decided on Friday at 5:00pm I would turn my phone off, and my computer too, and turn it back on Sunday night. A full digital detox, I could do this! I needed to focus on me, my health, my kids, and just be.
Then Saturday morning hit and I realized I needed Facebook to find out where we were working out that morning And I could text or call a friend, but all my numbers are in my phone. So I re-vamped the plan, and took a social media timeout instead. Here’s what happened, what I learned, and why I think everyone needs to take a break from social media at least once a month.
stages of a social media time out
- Withdraw – Though I still needed my phone minimally to communicate, I kept it for 90% of time in home office. On Friday night I felt anxious at 8:00pm and wanted to check Twitter and Facebook. Saturday morning, I kept reaching in my back pocket for it several times through the morning. But by 3:00pm on Saturday I was finally relaxed and didn’t miss it at all. Took almost 24 hours to stop fidgeting, better late than never!
- Total Relaxation – When’s the last time you didn’t check your phone while your husband drove you and the kids to a restaurant? Watched the sunset with your spouse without a phone nearby? Just hung out without checking email or social media? That’s what my 48+ hours were like, and it was bliss. I did word searches with the kids at breakfast, went swimming, baked homemade muffins, and slept like a rock. Seriously, it felt like a vacation.
No Phone Zone! Breakfast at Jet Runway Cafe, didn’t bring a phone anywhere over the weekend.
- Dread – When Sunday night came and the kids went to bed I was so bummed. Did I even want to look at my phone? 209 emails in one inbox, 284 in another, 109 Facebook notifications, I couldn’t even bear to check the rest, but I weeded through it. Then I proceeded to un-check all Facebook notifications on my phone and desktop. So basically if you tag me, I won’t see it until I really want to. (wicked smile)
what I learned from a social media timeout
I learned quite a few things about myself and social media in this very brief break.
- I need a social media timeout at least once a month, if not every weekend. Not just for my sanity, but to focus on what’s really important, which to me is our family and getting healthy.
- The phone, with all its useful tools, is a heavy burden. We can get caught up in numbers, followers, status updates, and forget to set boundaries. (That changes ASAP.)
- I’ve missed some pretty great moments with our girls and my husband the past few months building my business and working so much. But at what cost? Being with them, interacting, and playing without distractions makes me so much happier than being glued to my phone.
- You don’t die without Facebook on your phone. Seriously! Read what REALLY happens when you delete Facebook from your phone here!
Of course with all of this comes some reflection and changes that need to be made. I used to have a pretty great social media organization plan in place, but now with Instagram and Snapchat, it will need some revisions. But bottom line, there’s no reason when the kids are home from school, and I’m not working that the phone needs to be in our presence. It just takes away from our ability to be present.
If you too are feeling a bit overwhelmed by social media, your phone, and how to make it manageable, I urge you to take a timeout. See what feels right for you and your business, and then after a few days assess how much you really need to be active. You might be surprised how little you miss it!
And stay tuned, I have already started creating a family-friendly social media schedule to help manage time, and still, keep rocking your social media goals!
For more great stories please follow along on Facebook! And if you need help with a social media plan, please visit my business site misMEDIA!
Also, don’t miss Disconnect Your Phone and Recharge Your Soul.
I do try to take it down on the weekends myself with blogging and social media and learned awhile back that it was just a necessary thing to help me unwind and feel a bit more refreshed for the following week ahead. but love that you completely walked away from it this weekend and also loved hearing what you learned from this, too!! Thanks for sharing 🙂
yeah, you totally get it! Wish I had sooner!
I love this! Great idea! I can’t wait to see the schedule. I’ve been thinking I need to just keep my phone out of reach.
I will try to write it up next week! Vacay this weekend, woo hoo!
Yes I love putting my phone away for the weekend! Usually it happens by mistake since I put my phone in the bedroom to charge and then I just forget it is in there!But it needs to be nowhere near me, or else I find myself mindlessly grabbing for it! Glad you gave it a go! 😉
And that’s why you’re working mom magic, you get it!
Yay for giving this a try! I have been pretty much doing this every weekend. Oh it was frightening at first, but dang we all need some time to just log out and veg. Last weekend the baby hid my phone and then I forget about it. Best weekend sans phone ever!
You rock! But you already knew that!
INSPIRED! Your words resonated with me, especially when you asked when was the last time you didn’t have your phone at a restaurant with your spouse. Guilty as charged. I must do this. MUST. Tweeting this now.
It’s so hard but SO necessary. Thanks for sharing!
I should give it a try! I do find that even an hour without checking email is refreshing to my mind. I used to go entire days without anything of the sort. The world has changed so much, and it’s nice to think about keeping up with ourselves too.
Glad you had such a good experience with this. I totally agree. I cut back a while ago and now whenever my phone beeps or rings, I get annoyed like, “WHO is bothering me??” ha ha
YES!!!
This is so true. I find I’m a slave to my phone checking emails and notifications every time they go off. I am making more of a point to spend a certain amount of time with my girls everyday though, and that is proving to make a huge difference in our lives. Thanks for sharing <3
I really need to try and do this!
WE all do, hope you were inspired! Savor your time with you HS grad, Facebook can wait!
Loved this post!
I always feel refreshed when I take a social media break. I actually tune into the real world. Your takeaways, were awesome! Planning my next break:)
Thank you!
I think it’s awesome that you’re going to do this more often. I’ve noticed that when I do it, the kids are in a better mood because I’m not distracted by all the things you noted: texts, pages manager, emails, etc.
This is an important lesson for so many of us. I’m the worst about being on my phone or computer nearly all the time. It can be so difficult to pull away! We have set times when electronics aren’t allowed. Dinnertime is the biggest one for me. And then there are some nights when the Husband and I purposefully leave our electronics elsewhere just so we can chat and hang out. Those are the best nights. Love your idea of having a blackout weekend a month. I’m not really sure I could do it every weekend!
i fully totally agree. i really can’t do much social media, i designate little times within the week – like now – because i truly feel like i miss out on the real life that’s before me. i use my phone for texts and pictures however… because that helps me live a better life – not take away from it.
I am far less present on social media than I used to be for a host of reasons many of which you outlined here.
The funny thing is that in some ways I have more time than I ever did. My kids are in middle and high school and constantly on the go. They have less need of dear old dad than when they were little and push for their own space.
I am cool with that because I remember doing it but sometimes I shake my head when I think about how much time I put into this. I started blogging before my daughter was born, she’ll be 12 in July.
How much did I miss while I was chronicling our lives.
That is why I just don’t care about having the presence I used to have.
We’re just getting old and don’t care about other people. It’s awesome isn’t it?
I love, love, love that you did this. I need to do this as well. I am a social media manager for other bloggers and small business clients, too…..so I obviously get super bogged down and tired of the social media scene!! I also notice a general sense of unhappiness after checking Facebook. I’ve almost deleted it multiple times but I keep thinking maybe, just maybe, I can turn my feed into something positive.
What I really should be saying is maybe, just maybe, what’s “positive” is what’s going on around me while I’m basking in the iPhone light! I love your idea about disconnecting each weekend….I might need to join your social media break challenge!!! Hugs and thanks for all the love lately, dear friend 🙂
I didn’t know you did social media too! So glad to re-connect with you!
I feel you on this…. time outs are a MUST! Just hard to stick to…. I also love that you were diehard with you BB…I kept mine until late 2012 as well!!!
My husband said today, “You were so much fun this weekend! Think you can put your phone away this weekend too?” Who knew it would make SUCH a big difference?
I should totally do this! I’m a social media (and phone) addict. :/
Indeed, social media is quite addictive. It’s great to get away from it all.