Are you tired of negativity everytime you watch the news or open your phone? Not only the headlines but the comments and the drama you see on social media. Or maybe there’s someone toxic in your life and everytime you see their number pop up on your phone you groan thinking, “What do they want now?”
I totally get it. The past few weeks I’ve been over social media. And in real life, I’ve had to make some major changes to help ensure a more positive life. I’ve had to cut out people that no longer serve me in a healthy way and only surround myself with my circle of love. I’ve literally been locked down in my self-care cocoon and only filling my social feeds and soul with uplifting people and messages.
How did I get here?
Sure recovery from a hysterectomy with mucho complications has been a factor, as well as a family member’s recent pancreatic cancer diagnosis. But there’s always more to the story.
The Drama
Earlier this year I began working with a new partner on something that was like a dream. It would take my career to the next level, and I was really excited about the possibilities. But once we got rolling I knew something was up. I could sense there were honesty issues, then poor communication, and by the end, I realized I was being played. It was high school all over again, and the drama and gossip were ridiculous.
I felt horrible when I realized my dream was a nightmare, and of course started the, “What did I do wrong?”, negative self-talk thing. Because I always am too hard on myself.
But this wasn’t on me. I had acted in a professional and courteous manner and was so mad that this immaturity was happening on such an important project. I had two choices, stay and deal with it and allow myself to be taken advantage of, again, or run.
It was a tough decision. I did not want to run, I wanted the next big thing. But I couldn’t stay. I was full of anxiety, I wasn’t being treated with respect or kindness, and I was left questioning my own worth. I had to walk away from my dream and trust that the next door would open for me. (Which thankfully it has.) But it wasn’t easy, and the angst of having the “break up” talk ate at me for days.
What did I learn from this situation?
Don’t walk, run from negativity. Put an invisible fence around your heart and don’t let any bullshit in. At the first sign that someone is pulling you down a toxic path, lock the gate. Put out your arm and Heisman them away. You deserve only loving and kind words, thoughts, and energy. Give yourself that gift.
How to Lose the Toxicity in Your Life
It wasn’t easy to have the confrontational talk. I gave myself a few days to let the emotions simmer out of me so I could have a calm conversation. Rather than bringing up the laundry list of offenses, I simply said that I feel like the situation wasn’t being handled professionally, and I could no longer be associated with this project. It made no sense to call out the person because you can’t change anyone. Just your reaction to them.
They weren’t happy, but the conversation was cordial and then it was over. Having these kinds of talks are never as bad as you imagine in your mind.
If you too are in a toxic relationship, either personal or business, please remember that your feelings matter. If someone is causing you to feel less than, or makes you unhappy, you have to protect yourself as much as possible. Our hearts and minds are strong yet fragile, and we have to surround them and fill them with positivity, not poison.
If you have a friend that is just too much of an Eyore, take a break.
If there’s someone at your office that drives you cuckoo for cocoa puffs, limit your time in their presence.
Your happiness and mindset are more important than how your avoidance may make others feel. Don’t read the negative comments, mute the toxic “friends” or unfollow them on social media, and for the love of Nutella don’t respond to that call or text! You have the power and choice of who you allow into your life and how they will affect you. Choose wisely.
Nothing in life is easy, especially when it comes to relationships with difficult people, but you owe yourself this. You deserve to be happy, and the only person you owe anything to is yourself and your family. Everyone else is lucky to spend time with you.
And as for the rest of the negativity in the world? Well, you know what to do. Keep scrolling. You will never change anyone’s opinion on social media, and if the online world is bringing you down take a break. Disconnect your phone, recharge your soul.
Here’s what really happens when you delete Facebook from your phone.
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ok! this was quite good actually
very well written