The Countdown to Christmas on the Hallmark Movie Channel started early this year, and I couldn’t be happier. On Halloween night as a matter of fact. My kids on the other hand were groaning by mid-November, “Another Christmas movie mom, seriously!” While they’ve grown tired of the Christmas cheer, I’ve been ecsatic to feed the hopeless romantic inside, and be able to watch these non-animated Hallmark Christmas movies that are wholesome enough for our kids.
Sure Hallmark Christmas movies have a bit of romance, but nothing too taudrey for our little ones. And since I’ve seen most of the movies this holiday season, multiple times, I feel qualified to share my findings. (Yes I’m obsessed with cheesy Christmas movies, and totally OK with that!) After watching Candace Cameron Bure, Lori Loughlin, Judd Nelson, and other so-called stars, here are 10 things you’ll see in every Hallmark Christmas movie.
10 things you’ll see in hallmark christmas movies
1. Actors You Haven’t Seen in at Least a Decade – At one point this week I thought to myself, “How did the stud from the Breakfast Club, and the hottie from Dumb & Dumber end up in this horrific movie?” Not all the actors and actresses are has-beens or d-list, but it’s been awhile since we’ve seen these faces. At least they’re gorgeous! It’s easier to watch bad acting when you have some eye candy to ogle…right? By the way…don’t you feel so old watching your fav stars from the 80’s? Sigh.
2. A Cheesy Romantic Plot – Of course the guy gets the girl every single time, but not until the ex-comes back and tries to foil the new romance. But it’s so much damn fun to watch! Even if the acting isn’t particularly good, or their chemistry is reminiscent of a cold fish, we still need to see the kiss of perfect strangers who fall in love in just 48 hours.
3. Snowfall and a Christmas Tree Farm – Not sludge or icey snow, there is always perfect white flakey snow in Hallmark Christmas movies. And of course on Christmas day there’s a beautiful white coating on all of the trees. Speaking of trees, everyone grows up on a Christmas tree farm in Hallmark-land. And when you watch these movies you can totally differentiate between a Douglas or Frasier fir.
4. Perfect Hair and Makeup – While it’s snowing outside, the characters hair and makeup are always flawless. Perfectly curled hair, luscious red lips, and never covered in hats. Because when it’s 32 degrees out or lower, it’s not cold enough for hats and scarves when you’re kissing in these movies.
5. Some Santa Clause Sub-Plot – A lot of these Hallmark movies include a Santa storyline. Maybe it’s set in a small town in Alaska which is really the North Pole. Or maybe he’s Santa Jr. and uses a convertible to deliver gifts. Or perhaps she’s really a teenage elf who flies to the North Pole. Whatever the setting, Santa is never far behind…even if he’s just an all knowing guy ringing the bell and doling out advice.
6. Christmas Magic – An angel perhaps like in Mr. Miracle or Angels and Ornaments. Or maybe a Magic Stocking, whatever the drama happening in the characters lives, Christmas magic always prevails which almost makes you believe again.
7. Epic-ly Decorated Homes – Have you ever wondered how much it would really cost to deck the halls likes these folks? And who really has all of red and green sheets and comforters in December. ]I mean come on! My wreaths are already dead and it’s still ten days until Christmas!
8. Horribly Placed Products – Do we really need to see that ten second close up of a can of Folgers? Or how many shots do we need to see of that Ford Explorer pulling in the driveway? I get it, you need to pay those salaries of Winnie Cooper and Frisco, but can we be a little less obvious dear producers? (insert eye roll)
9. A Single Parent – OK not all movies include the single parent story, but so many do it had to be included. A spouse away in the service injured and can’t return. Or a widow who isn’t ready to celebrate Christmas. Or perhaps an uncle who is now the guardian of a child who is an orphan. So many of these movies tug at the heartstrings, but almost always end with a fairy tale family ending.
10. Carolers – Seriously, name one time someone has sung Christmas carols outside your home in the past 20 years?
Yes they’re predictable and there are 1,001 better uses of our time during the busy holiday season, but it wouldn’t be the Christmas season without Hallmark Christmas Movies. Thank you Hallmark Channel for filling women everywhere with hope for more holiday romance. No matter how good or bad, we still can’t stop watching the movie marathons!
And while you’re watching your favorite movies make these adorably easy reindeer cookies!