Since we rang in the New Year there have been hearts and cupids adorning every store front window. Commercials and ads have pushed flowers, chocolates, cupcakes and jewelry. And websites and magazines have shown every decadent red velvet and hearts recipe ever invented. (This one included!) I started thinking…is this Hallmark holiday actually pressuring me into planning a candle light dinner and booking a masseuse for my man?
But then I laughed and shook my head.
Yes, I am anti-Valentine’s Day. (sort of…) Don’t get me wrong, I love holiday’s for my kids. It’s so much fun to bake cupcakes and cinnamon rolls, and make all sorts of crafts, Valentine’s, and playdough. But the whole holiday itself is sort of manufactured…isn’t it?
I mean it’s history dates back to the 3rd century A.D. when a priest named Valentine was beheaded. So on February 14th we celebrate his death, (in honor of marriages he was performing secretly), and are supposed to be romantic. And I get it…if you are dating it’s an awesome way to romance your guy or gal. But once you’re married and kids factor into the equation…who really has time for a love-fest?
Should we make time and put forth the effort? ABSOLUTELY!
Do I want roses, and champagne, a Louis Vuitton bag and an expensive dinner? Sure, any other day of the year.
But who wants to fight the crowds at over packed restaurants? And the roses die…but that $50 would have paid for a killer mani/pedi!
What do exhausted, over scheduled moms really want? Well, speaking for myself…the fantasy would include an entire day to myself, and then a home cooked meal with my family, followed by cupcakes. Then after my husband bathes the kids and puts them to bed, we drink wine, listen to great music and just relax. Boring maybe…but to me it’s bliss.
I know I sound cynical, but I honestly don’t think Valentine’s Day is a big deal. When my husband and I first started dating, we always went skiing in February, so that was my ‘present’. And a card with a loving hand written note always rocks….but after 12 years of marriage here’s a news flash…my love is a sure thing.
I guess all the Valentine’s Day rig amoral has just become overkill. The articles, the pressure from advertisers, all shoving hearts and candy down our throats. We don’t need a holiday that markets relationships to show someone our love, we can do that any other day of the year! We can put notes in our kids lunchboxes just because, add sprinkles or make heart shaped pancakes on the weekend, or pick up a peppermint patty at the grocery store and slip it in our husband’s work bag just because it’s his favorite.
Love doesn’t have to be shouted from the mountain tops every February 14th. It doesn’t require heart shaped balloons, candy, or chocolate covered strawberries. There doesn’t need to be extra financial burdens or unrealistic expectations just because every company in America has mass produced some sort of heart product.
Love is putting away our phones at dinner and really listening to our partners. It’s doing a puzzle with our kids or reading them extra books at bedtime. Love is being there heart and soul, and supporting and empowering all of our friends and family members throughout the entire year. That’s the real gift.
Will I hypocritically participate in Valentine’s Day? Yep. I even raided the dollar bins at Target for little art projects to bestow upon our girls on the 14th. And I probably will bake up our traditional heart shaped cinnamon rolls because it’s fun to surprise them! I will show the ones I care about a little extra love that day…but more importantly I’ll try to appreciate them every other day.
I love this post! I am all about holidays and cutesy crafts for my kids, but seriously, give me some cuddles on the couch over a crowded, over priced restaurant any day. My husband and I already won the dating battle, now we show each other love every day, in different ways. We don’t need a special day or Hallmark to tell us how to do it.
A to the MEN!!
I love this post because you just make me laugh. You are totally right about all the mass produced holidays that are supposed to motivate good behavior for one day. When the truth is, we should be doing it everyday. Although, I’m a softy for Hallmark created holidays. I want to the Louis Vuitton bag, the fancy dinners and frankly the ticker-tape parades. But also my favorite nights are with my husband drinking wine, outside on the deck (no mosquitos), under the bright stars and listening to Dave Matthews (because my husband loves analyzing the lyrics.)
I love Dave Mathews too! Maybe we just need to go to the Louis store one day and buy it for ourselves!
mu favorite part is to get something “lovey” got my 2 boys (11 & 8). A stuffed monkey that hugs. A little bear that makes kidding sounds. They giggle every time.
yes it’s fun isn’t it?!
So true!! I love this line: Love is putting away our phones at dinner and really listening to our partners.
I wish more people understood that, and didn’t put such heavy emphasis on material things.
FYI – for next year’s VD project, go to Target one or two days AFTER Valentine’s, and you’ll score major, major deals. I do that every year!
Ok – I will definitely do that, just not candy!
The Imp says
Totally there with you. I don’t want anything for Valentine’s day. Ok, sleep. Let me sleep in, and we’ll call it good.
Susanne/The Dusty Parachute says
I completely agree – We have so many wonderful date nights throughout the year, we don’t put the pressure on ourselves to make this one day any different. In fact, this year I’m flying to visit my mom on Valentine’s day. 🙂
I blame Pinterest. Just kidding! I love the holiday stuff there.
It is funny that it creeps up in marketing every year, just the way Christmas does. I have always loved Valentine’s Day but mostly because I love red, pink and white and I love chocolates and I love my family and I love putting away my phone at dinner!
Me too! Pinterest is my fatal flaw! Was thinking of you today as we plan for Disney this week!
Janine Huldie says
I got to admit not a Valentine’s fan here and do have my own personal reasons. Long story short, my grandfather passed away on Valentine’s Day years back, but now that I am a wife and mom I do try to do cute little things for my girls and husband, too even if my heart truly isn’t into it because of my own past. However my past or not, I still do generally agree with you that it has become way too commercialized and by the way for those few cute things, I pretty much spent almost $50.
I am so with you on this. And I love your graphic – very funny. I’ve never been big on flowers or Valentines Day in general. And your ideal night sounds an awful lot like mine. I think enjoying your family’s company (no matter which day it happens to be) is a blessing and we should be aware of that more than one day each year.
Amen! I like you!
I’m with you 110%. We don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day. No cards, no flowers, no special dinner. Sometimes I’ll think that we should do something just so I can have an answer if someone asks. But I’d rather show my husband love in a million little ways every day of the year or be surprised when he sends me flowers ‘just because’.
Herchel S says
I have never been a fan of obligatory expressions of love. We celebrate it with crafts for the kids but have never made a big deal of it ourselves (except for the first one when we were dating and the hubs didn’t think I was serious when I said Vday wasn’t a BFD to me!)
I get annoyed with how packed the restaurants get lol. This year will be worse because it’s on a Saturday!
Creative Mama Renee says
I think my best Valentine’s Day dates with my husband is when we don’t over-plan them. The best Valentine’s present he ever got me was before my son was born, I was 8 1/2 months pregnant and he sent me out to get a prenatal massage. Now that we have kids, I don’t need to be at some restaurant for a long-winded, overpriced Valentine’s menu, just give me 2 seats in the bar with a few appetizers and we’re golden! Then we can walk across the street to the coffee shop before heading back to Grandma’s house to pick up the kids.
massage’s rock! Now that’s a gift I wouldn’t turn down!
stop the anger. spread the love! 😉
Totally agree! My two boys could cares less, but I need to indulge a little for my 4-year-old. And yes, my fantasy would be a day to myself. Not going to happen since we have an afternoon of baseball, karate, etc.
Tricia the Good Mama says
haha I think all of these bloggers are to blame! I mean, who else is writing up all of these posts on heart-shaped, pink-shaded recipes and crafts and gift ideas? Valentine’s Day is like a lot of other holidays for me. I’m neutral about it. I think it’s always a nice reminder to express love to your significant other. We don’t usually go out to eat though. My husband usually cooks me dinner, we exchanged cards (my husband always makes his own or it’s sometimes just a written note) and I get flowers or something small.
I’m the same way about birthdays and other holidays (minus Christmas). I don’t go over the top, but I always enjoy the extra love on holidays. That might change as my son gets older though and I have to deal with the school-related holiday stuff. I guess we shall see!
It’s all our fault! I LOVED your husband’s post though – the best!
I love Valentines Day, but more at the level of an elementary aged kid. I love making Valentines with my kids and little heart shaped cookies dripping with bad for me frosting. Don’t ask though what the hubs and I have given each other for V- day the last several years because i can’t even remember and honestly don’t care 🙂 Give me a pink lollipop and a homemade card and I’m good!
Right there with you. Added to that now my 4yo’s friends might be exchanging Valentine’s. Cue the heartache. Of course I’ll be the cause of it since it’s my responsibility to get her whole class cards and there’s a slim chance I’ll be doing that. Very very slim.
Debbie McCormick says
Couldn’t agree more. It seems that as soon as I finish packing up all the Christmas decorations it is time to plan another celebration. I don’t like Valentines day at all and feel pressure to take part. The weird thing is this has become more for kids than for spouses.
Yes I totally agree with this! My husband and I always opt for the quiet evening at home. Besides our days get so busy with work and kids, we value the quiet time! Sometimes we talk, while other times we can sit quietly in a room together and enjoy a drink and a movie. Its the comfort of knowing that he’s there. Thanks for the reminder!
Although I don’t think I mind looking forward to seasonal treats.
Red Velvet Oreos cookies (Wink Wink)
Ha! I thought about making cupcakes out of those, I have some! Just never have time!
I agree totally, but like you, I still celebrate. Our anniversary is one week later…so to keep from going out two huge weekends in a row…I try to host a Valentine’s dinner party for my husband our friends. That way none of us have to fight crowds for mediocre food….I love to cook and my friends love to eat…it’s a great trade off… 😉 Our children are grown so we do have a little bit more freedom to do this than younger moms would. Love your post….you’re right…love is an everyday blessing.
Love that idea! We were supposed to go out with a couple (grrr….) maybe we can stay in instead!
I am ready to do away with the day. It is a pain-in-my-ass and a source of trouble for far too many people I know.
right? (fist pound)
Talitha Haynes says
I have the same rants about Valentine’s Day. Buy me some I know will last forever
At this point for me, Valentine’s Day is all about fun for the kids. They love their school parties and bringing in treats and cards for their friends. I remember how much fun that was when I was a kid and I love getting to see them enjoy it. My hubby is my sweetheart every day so the holiday itself is kind of silly to us.
Dev Pandey says
Amazingly written, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!
Great post! it was so meaningful. i really enjoyed! Thanks for sharing
Really interesting post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts