It’s hard to believe it’s already starting. At almost 5 1/2 years old, our first daughter is apparently smarter than us, mouthier than a teenager, and asking questions we’re not prepared to answer for another decade. My two year old is joining in as well…but her latest favorite subject is one I despise… potty talk.
Things Kids Say: Smart, Sassy & Silly
Lila: Daddy I’m smarter than you.
Bob: Really, what’s the capitol of Florida?
Lila: F. Capitol F. (with the proudest look you’ve ever seen.)
Lila: I want more powdered sugar on my waffle now!
Me: You need to ask nicely, but no you may not have anymore. You get what you get and you don’t get upset.
Lila: I get what I want and I will get upset. (Then runs screaming to her room and slams door. Tantrums for 20 minutes)
Don’t worry, she didn’t get any more sugar. And she lost some privileges that day.
Lila: Mommy did it hurt when I came out of your tummy.
Me: Yes for a little bit, you were worth it.
Lila: Where do baby’s come out of the mommy?
Me: (when in doubt answer with a question) Where do you think they come out?
Lila: Your bum or belly button?
Me: Well only your poop can come out of your bum – but God made a perfect opening for the babies to come out when they are ready. And sometimes a doctor has to cut them out of your tummy.
Whew- dodged a bullet for now! I don’t believe in lying (except for Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Elf on the Shelf… guess I do believe in lying!) but only tell them what they need to know for now. Not sure how to handle this one if it comes up again.
Here’s the aforementioned silliness that always revolves around poop and pee.
Emy: Mommy I want to cook my butt and eat it!
Me: Ummm…can I have a piece?
Emy: Yes you can eat my butt!
Emy: I am going to go pee pee on your head and go poopy in my diaper.
Lila: You are a poopy butt!
(Uncontrollable laughter ensues)
Me: No more potty talk at the dinner table please.I can’t wait until we hit the teen years, I have a feeling the sassy-ness will exponentially grow.
Yep!! you are doomed – sounds just like my pair and mine are now the teenagers you fear , they can be great girls though so there is some hope. I love how you handle the difficult question well played 🙂
LOL! I absolutely love kid talk! We should all be required to document these things! Haha Perfection! 😉
HAHAHAHAHA! Capitol F. Love it! I am also dying at the lying thing! We lie about so many things as parents!
Oh my word! These are hilarious! My little guy has done 1 thorugh 3…yeah number 3 is a tough one to figure out, I can’t remember what we told him but he eventually decided babies climb up through the mom’s mouth. LOL That works for me, for now!
Hah! Love your girls. Your daughter’s picture is beautiful. I cannot tell you the number of times we have talked about poop at the dinner table. What gives with that?
Hahahah! I love it!!!! I was going to mention a favorite, but I can’t because they’re all so great.
My boys have asked about how the babies came out of my belly too and I’ve said a silent prayer of thanks that I had c-sections. Actually, that was probably the first time I was glad about my c-sections. Kids 😛 😉
I’m with Lila…and yes, it usually means I get privileges revoked too tee hee Too cute! Yes, the fact that they have a quick wit now only means trouble later but it also means they have minds of their own. Curse & Blessing 🙂
HAHAHAHAHA I love the things kids say. “Capitol F.” HAHAHAHA And I am just as cutthroat with the honesty policy. A few years ago my big girl (6 at the time, and I was pregnant with her little sister) asked where babies come from and I straight up told her, “vagina. It all starts and ends with the vagina.” My husband kinda passed out – but my daughter, who loves to read, said, “Oh I know about those. They’re in the BODY book you have with your school books in the basement.” Honesty is never wrong – cuz chances are, they’re already have an idea about the truth!
Wait until they’re teenagers…they’ll give you just as much writing material and resent you even more. It’s fabulous.