Last week was Spring Break for us and boy were the kids getting stir crazy! The little one came down with a fever and cough which derailed our plans for everyday fun. I took as much of the week off as I could from work and this blog, (did you miss me?!) and we tried to hit as many local attractions as possible. Butterfly World, museums, parks, and everywhere we went there were plenty of questions…but not about what we were doing. No siree…this time I was asked everything imaginable about our bodies. Or what’s in our bodies. Or why things smell.
Thank goodness for Google…and the stock guy at our local grocery store!
Emy: “Why do we do this?”
Me: “That’s called blinking.”
Emy: “Why does your eyes do it?”
Me: “Yours do it too – try to keep your eyes open without blinking! It keeps the dirt out.”
Emy: “I don’t want to blink.”
Emy: “Why do we have a nose?”
Me: “To smell things.”
(a few minutes later)
Emy: “What’s that smell in your mouth?”
Emy: “If you drink it again I won’t talk to you anymore.”
Me: “Can I get another cup of coffee!?”
Emy: “You’re mean!”
Later at the grocery store
Lila: “Where do boogers come from?”
Me: “I don’t know, (walking by the stock guy) ask him.” (So she does.)
Stock guy: “I actually know this answer – they are the dirt that forms in your nose and attaches to the little hairs inside your nostrils. So when they grow they become big, green dirt.”
Me: “So don’t eat them…it’s gross.”
Lila: “I don’t eat them, I wipe them on my wall.”
Emy: “Why does daddy have peanuts and we have wa-ginas?”
Lila: “Is it call peanuts? What does it look like?”
Me: “Please girls not in the store – we can talk about it later.”
Lila: “OK don’t forget to tell us why they have hair on them and we don’t, because that’s just well…ICK.”
Imagine magenta…that’s the color of my face at this point. And I’m positive the nice Publix stock guy heard us. I’m kind of surprised butts, bootys and privates still cause the same discussions and reactions. I should have known better than to make bunny butt cupcakes at the end of the week….
Emy: “What is that?”
Me: “A bunny butt – do you want to make one?”
Lila: “I want to eat his tail!”
Emy: “I’m going to make and eat his butt! (can’t stop laughing) Does it taste like poop?”
Me: “No silly, it’s a cupcake…”
Lila: “This is the best day ever. I know we can’t control when people get sick, but thanks for saving the day.”
Isn’t that the best?! I mean she did cry about it for eons that morning since we couldn’t go to the splash park, but at least they got to eat some bunny butts! And sometimes those small moments make it all worthwhile. Almost. (just kidding…or am I?)
So cute! Kids really do say some crazy stuff.. I write it all down in my journal so I can tell them when they get older!
Hmmm. We haven’t had many colorful conversations about privates, but he still says the funniest things. I love when he hears a song and tries to sing it. He is now singing 4 Non-Blondes “What’s Up” because it’s in Disney’s “Alexander & the Horrible, No-good, Very Bad Day.” He got mad at me when I tried to correct his version. He thinks Peh- yule – ya (for peculiar) is a word.
Tove Stakkestad says
I have four boys – I think that alone says it all. Our lives revolve around penises and butts – and that’s it! Yeah me!
I love that your girls are so inquisitive while grocery shopping – looks like that is where you need to take them when they are teenagers and you WANT them to spill the beans!
Allie Smith says
I loved everything about this post – a great accompaniment to go with my coffee! I’ve had exchanges like this, but I recall it ever happening at Publix. Kudos to the stock guy for the quick response!
Oh my word, this is hilarious!! When you have boys, penis’s become an everyday topic of conversation, but it’s still embarrassing out in public! I think Lila and Eli are made for each other. He wipes his boogers on the wall too.
Megan@Sensitive Mommy says
Too funny! My dear (4) always asks why he has peanuts by his … Ugh
I remember we once went to an exhibit about gross body functions at our Science Center, and my kids STILL remember how boogers are made. So gross. These are all hilarious. I love your girls!
Nathan asked me, on the way to his basketball game, “Why does my who-ha stand up sometimes?” Mind you, I’ve never even used the phrase who-ha to describe his privates, but that was classic.
Janine Huldie says
Spring break isn’t until the end of this week through next week for us and god only knows what kind of comments my kids have in store for me now, but judging by the above I am sure it will most definitely make me blush just slightly! 😉
Kids say the funniest stuff! So unfiltered!
Aubrey @ 53 Weeks says
Super cute bunny butt cupcakes! I’m starting to get questions…but I can so sympathize with you and how you must’ve felt while being bombarded with them at Publix…I guess it’s karma for being a reporter! LOL!! j/k. Look on the bright side, no one was probably really paying attention and the stock guy most likely brushed it off and kept moving!
This was so funny! I love the questions kids ask. LOVE that Lila asked the stock boy about boogers..and that he had an answer! I wish I could think of the best thing our kids have asked…though the biggest thing that comes to mind is that T’s repeated questions about when she’ll start to grow hair “down there”. Of course, L has been known to ask why I wear diapers at certain times of the month……
Haha!! The grocery stock guy’s answer was brilliant!! Why have I never explained it that way to keep fingers out of noses??? Although there is definitely some merit to wiping boogers off on the wall, a new art collection maybe??
I know…love him! You should have seen her nightstand before she moved to the wall…oye!!
Herchel A Scruggs says
I love the employees at Publix. They never seem to be bothered by inquisitive kids. Everybody likes to talk about butts…and farts lol.
I know they are like family! (cue the cheesy music!)
ha! Yes. Scarlet asks me all kinds of crazy things. And they’re EMBARRASSING. So when she repeats things to other people, it sort of tells other people what goes on in our house!
Also, the stock guy was awesome!
Hahaha! Peanuts. Love it.
My 2nd youngest went through a stage of sniffing my butt in public and exclaiming “Ewww pooh you butt smell” at the approximate decibel level of a jet (involved in a dog fight with 7 other fighter planes). My swooshing at her with my hand just underlined her point really.