Ever had those days? The ones you imagine on the weekend that will be laid back, carefree, where everyone rests, recharges, and just plays nicely?
I had that dream today, before I was awoken before the sun. And before you judge me as a cold and heartless mom for literally counting each time her kids cry, let me preface this post with the fact that we’ve been sick. All of us, starting over three weeks ago. So naturally everyone is on edge, has cabin fever, is cranky and just plain wants to feel better. So on a glorious Saturday morning, when the sun was shining and the air was cool, I had a plan. We all could get our rooms in order, de-germify the house, play outside, and bake some muffins together.
But unfortunately, the dream died quickly, because the crying game was in full force. With my hubby out of town, both girls were beyond miserable. After a few grumpy episodes before breakfast, I was in shock at how quickly the tears were flowing. So I decided to document each and every single time the girls cried, just to see how many times it happened. Here’s an actual account of 30 reasons my kids cried today, in case you were wondering what hell sounds like.
*Note if you’re on the fence about whether to have kids, do NOT read below.
the 30 reasons my kids cried today
- Awake to the sound of the cry followed by, “Mommy I’m pooping!”
- Seven year old wakes up, comes in the room and cries because I won’t get out of bed and turn on the TV. I convince her to lay down with me and try to go back to sleep.
- Older girl cries because we ran out of Gorilla Munch cereal for breakfast.
- Four-year-old cries because her big sister pushed her.
- Both cry because the fort they built fell and fighting ensued.
- Little one cried because I put the wrong flavor of yogurt in her smoothie.
- Both cry over which cup holds their smoothies. Both inevitably want the same cup.
- Older girl cries because she has to pick up the toys scattered all over her room.
- Toddler cries because she too has to clean her room, “It’s too much WORK”. (Agonizing cry by the way, I’m sure the neighbors thought I was beating her.)
- Older girl cries because she didn’t get the pink plate. I throw out all plastic kids plates and declare it’s time to use big girl plates.
- Seven-year-old cries because I used the wrong hangars to hang up her clothes. Then rips them off in a tantrum.
- Cries some more because she now has to re-hang her clothes.
- Cries begging me to watch her re-hang her clothes. (Uh no, nice try though!)
- Four-year-old cries because her older sister won’t let her use invisible ice powers. I explain they’re INVISIBLE, so do whatever you want.
- Older girl cries because she wants to be Elsa.
- Let’s make muffins, hooray for distractions! Seven-year-old cries because she wants to mash the bananas, not line the muffin tins.
- Little one cries because her big sister won’t let her lick the bowl.
- Older sister cries when sent to her room for not sharing the muffin batter bowl.
- Makeover time! But wait, pre-tween cries because little sister is wearing too much lip gloss and won’t take it off.
- Tired fournado cries because she doesn’t want brinner for dinner.
- Then older sister cries because I cut up her pancakes. She wanted to do it herself, the horror!
- Little one cries because she can’t have more syrup.
- Both cry because they can’t have dessert. I mean, they had pancakes for dinner, hello? THAT’S dessert!
- Then both continue crying because they don’t want to take showers and go to bed.
- Seven-year-old cries because I dried her hair too hard.
- Then cries some more as I gently brush her hair.
- Then cries because no one loves her.
- Last cry of the night? Yeah right! Four-year-old cries because she can’t watch TV, her evil mother is forcing her to read.
- Then she cries because she wants milk…NOW.
- Then she cries again when I trip over the kitten, fall on my hand, and can’t get her milk RIGHT NOW. (Then I cry because my hand hurts like a b***h, going for an x-ray today.)
And that my friends is a not-so-fun Saturday solo with kids. I’m not quite sure how single moms do it, every day of their life, but I have learned that weekends are hard by yourself. I know that not feeling well added to the particularly teary day, but just curious, have you ever had a day like this?
I feel for you, but also, thanks for the laugh! I hope your week goes a little more smoothly. Yay school!!
Yes, yes and yes to all of the above and add on that I did the braid wrong this morning and we have a winner!!! 🙂
ha! me too!
lol ???? The invisible ice powers! One of mine cried at the park yesterday because Daddy put me over his shoulder and started running away.
LOL! Probably thought they’d never see you again!
Hahaha… So my life.
I made the terrible mistake of making eggs for breakfast for my 4-yr-old over the weekend.
The 1-year-old was mad I wouldn’t let him suck on a Clorox wipe.
The horror!!
Holy moly… you deserve a break! I hope your hand feels better! I may just have to catalog our reasons for tears too – because they certainly do NOT involve anyone wanting to be Elsa! – but LOTS of your reasons! HUGS
Oh my gosh this is hilarious… I hope you hand is feeling better!!
Oh my God, you poor thing! I hope Sunday was better.
I often find my daughter cries more when she feels unwell, I recently was reading on facebook about tears actually help the body to detox which would explain why!
your blog name is PERFECT!
I have been there. Those days when everything just makes them cry.
Oh no! What a day! Sometimes we just need to laugh to keep from crying during one of those days. I hope you have an easy, happy, sick-free rest of the week!
Oh my gosh yes!! Sometimes at the end of days like that I cry too and let them see it. Just so we can even the odds a little.
Haha, I’ve often thought about documenting how many times my 2-year-old cries in a day. I think I’d be scared to see the answer.
Hope your hand is ok!
Thank you!
LOL the disclaimer before this post – HA! So true. No one would want to have kids after reading about all the things they bawl about.
“I didn’t want the Dora shoes.” – hands daughter the Sophia the First shoes – “I didn’t want you to get them.” – puts shoes down on floor – “I want you to put them on me.” – Mom leaves the room to regain sanity and cry some tears of her own.
Sorry about your hand – I saw on social media it was a hairline fracture – is that right?
I frequently have rough days – but we push through.
Big hugs mama!
xoxo
It’s all control isn’t it?!
I feel your pain. I totally feel it!
Oh man, girl – I need to come down there and take you to the spa.
Scarlet only cried once today – because she fell on her butt. So that was sad. Previous crying fits were much less warranted.
Des is pretty calm but he did cry because he wanted to take stuff from my mom’s house to bring home.
yes please! Let’s do it!
Crying from laughter here. I remember those days all too well. Would it make you feel better if I told you what made my TEENS cry today? The 12YO cried because we made her show us her homework that she’d “already finished” and obviously we didn’t trust her (we don’t.. she’s a habitual liar when it comes to homework). The 17YO cried because I recommended she empty the dishwasher after school so that she wouldn’t have to do it after dinner thus slowing down her exit from the house for her ever-full social calendar. The 15YO cried because I wouldn’t sell her old iPhone and give her the proceeds. This is why the person who invented wine is my hero.
Good to know the crying never ends…sigh. I would cry over homework too!
This is hysterical! I have days like this where it seems they cry over the oddest things! It’s tough stuff being a child.
It’s TOUGHER being the mom! LOL!
Oh girl!!! I’m SO glad you got it OUT! You are a SUPERHERO! I mean it. If you survived this, you can survive ANYTHING!!
Classic WORST parenting day EVER.
Rest up, hun. Deep breaths. You got this.
I can TOTALLY relate to all of this. The three-year-old is prone to outbursts for any reason – even for getting exactly what she asked for. Also agree that single parents must have special superpowers. I couldn’t do it alone on the regular!
All the shoes in the cupboard aren’t right! I need the expensive Sophia The First ones to be bought for me!
I don’t care that school starts in two minutes!
Hi, I don’t think it’s funny at all. You poor think. I know this days all very well. Its just seeems to me they never ends. They both cry and scream all b….y days-weeks. And wants cuddle both the same time, but not together. I have two and half years old twins.