As I sat holding our 3-year-old while our oldest took a nap, I felt utterly exhausted. I spent the previous few days and nights waking up to clean up vomit or other bodily fluids, doing countless loads of laundry, bleaching down bathrooms, making two trips to the doctor for a strange rash which covered nearly every square inch of her body, and not sleeping. And then when I thought the coast was clear, a high fever besieged her poor little body. For days I saw her sick, dehydrated, sometimes writhing in pain, and scratching incessantly at the hives.
But still, I was thankful.
Photo by Erin Miller
Thankful I could be home to take care of our sick first grader who had come down with the stomach flu overnight. Grateful to have a flexible work schedule where I could shut down my laptop and be present with her. So thankful I had time to be alone with our toddler amidst a terrible week where we focused mostly on caring for her older sister. But even more thankful knowing that this too shall pass, and she would get better.
Some parents don’t have that, the time we have with our kids. For her, this was just a bad stomach virus that lasted longer than normal, but it wasn’t life-threatening. She doesn’t have a disease or ongoing medical conditions that make life difficult every single day. This was just a part of going to school and building her immune system. And while the days and nights were incredibly long and trying for my husband and me, I still felt so lucky to be a mom.
But that’s what parenting is – isn’t it? Really it’s just about your perspective.
Before having kids we were so fearful of the unknown. And when conception didn’t happen naturally, I was terrified of going through IVF and the needles, but thinking about the outcome made the treatment tolerable.
Once becoming pregnant I dreaded childbirth, so scared of how it might hurt, never trusting in nature taking its course. And then it happened and I don’t even remember the pain or the complications. I survived, just as millions of other women do, and you know what? I did it again with baby number two.
Then of course came the fear that I would never get my body back, and I haven’t. But you know what, that’s OK. Because the body I have now is what it is because I carried those two precious girls.
And then came the doubts of whether I’d be a good mom, or have the patience I needed to teach them. But eventually, it came.
Through this journey I’ve learned just like life, parenting is all about perspective, and no matter what happens I’m lucky to be a mom.
I have some friends who are terrified of having kids (just as I was). As they plan their weddings and read my funny posts on Facebook about how difficult parenthood is, all they see are the tough moments. They focus on the hardships, and how their lives will change. And you know what – they will change. Drastically.
Photo by Erin Miller
Once you have kids your life will never be the same as it was. You might still be able to party, but not quite as much. You can still have your career, but with it comes tremendous planning and balance. And you will always need to be prepared for, and expect, the unexpected. Because you never know when that flu will hit, or when the next tantrum will come. But the rewards you reap are paramount and outweigh all of the trials of parenthood.
It’s incredibly hard to describe to those who don’t have children how full your heart feels the second you hold your baby. Or how much you can’t wait to see them at the end of the workday, and see their smiles as they run excitedly to you. Just hearing them call you mommy makes you tear up and feeling them fit snugly onto your lap is like a piece of a puzzle you never knew was missing. Being a parent is a gift in itself, and life does indeed change, but for the better. You will relive your childhood again but through their eyes. You will rediscover the world in a new way with your child, and holidays and birthdays will always be so much more exciting. Because you now have your own family, legacy, and circle of love to share it with.
While these past few days with our sick daughter could have been wretched, instead we remained grateful. We played games, cuddled, watched movies, and talked…just as the moment needed us to be. Because parenting is all about perspective, and this time I was lucky enough to just be mom.
Did you like this post? Then please join me on Facebook for more parenting inspiration and laughs! You might also like the Single Worst Thing About Being a Working Mom.
Or She Only Asked Once. What happened when I stopped being selfish at bedtime.
Or The Power of Yes to our kids instead of no.
I love this! Perspective and attitude truly make the difference. It’s so easy to focus on the negative, but we have SO much to be thankful for.
My youngest daughter Rhonda went through the same thing as your little one. They were in Pennsylvania visiting the grandparents. My ex at the time was taking care of her mother who fell ill. I flew up, & brought back the kids home to Florida. Having an understanding boss, I stayed home with her for more than a week & nursed her back to health. It was after where Rhonda & I have this special bond. We don’t need to say it but it’s there, I feel it more with Rhonda than her twin sister or my oldest daughter. After this adventure, you might sense this as well. I love my children the same, but Rhonda falling ill was a bonding I never expected. Reading your story took me right back to that time. I understand exactly what your feeling.
Aw, you said this beautifully and perfectly. Like you there is so much I am thankful for with parenting, especially being able to be home with my girls when the worst case scenario happens and one of them is indeed sick. Just hope your girl is feeling better now. Hugs 😉
I agree, the rewards are so great when it comes to motherhood. Perspective is so important when you are a parent.
Very sweet post. I
WOW– It’s a blessing that you are able to be home with your little one while she is sick. You know– that’s something many parents cant do. It’s like our society penalizes parents for wanting to take care of their kids. I see it all the time in my workplace. Thanks for sharing… XOXO–Constance
This is SO very true! Parenting is all about perspective. Yes, some days can be challenging and tough, but ultimately there’s so much to be thankful. I’m sorry your little girl was sick though- that’s the worst! Hope she’s feeling all back to normal now.
You poor thing! What a weekend your family has had. You are right though, perspective is key. It helps you get through the big and the little battles we face each and every day. Hugs and hope your little ones get all better without a repeat!
When you’re in the thick of it, it can be so awful. Definitely for me. But like you said – perspective. Most of these viruses are temporary.
I do remember that Scarlet got a wicked virus earlier this year and she wanted to cuddle for most of it. I think I remember that MORE than the yucky nighttime vomiting.
Very heartfelt and so true! It’s always best to step back and check your perspective because it’s SO easy to get caught up in the craziness of parenthood! 🙂
I’m so sorry that it’s been a hard week. I’m glad that you have so many positive take-aways in life especially with all the challenging experiences. Your girls are not only lucky to have such a loving, thoughtful and nurturing mother, but also a great career and personal role-model.
I love this post. It is very hard to describe the love you feel for your children as a mother. It’s incredible. It definitely propels you through those difficult days (and nights!).
Exactly! All of this! Each day truly is a gift. It may not always be beautiful but we are fortunate to be able to be mothers. I am thankful for this every day. I know those feelings you write about. They truly are miracles! Beautiful Kristen!
Those tough weekends as a parent always make it so hard to be positive. I love this post and that quote for A. Lincoln:) Tweeted!
I love this! I think the same exact way! When my son was in the ER last year for breathing problems I couldn’t help but think how lucky we really are. Thanks for the reminder and for keeping things in perspective!
Love this piece, because it’s exactly how I see life. Personal happiness is all about ones perspective of life, yet so many have no idea how to find Silver Linings or the bright side of things, keeping them miserable. So much more true about parenting, just as you pointed out here. Wonderful work!
This is beautiful! I may joke and complain, but I am so thankful that I get to be mommy to my two ruffians!
Such a great attitude! I’m sorry to hear that your daughter was sick, but glad to know that it wasn’t anything serious. It’s so hard to see our kids when they’re really sick, but to have those special moments can really turn a negative into a positive.
Beautiful! Perspective is what gets me through the toughest of days. When my husband is gone on a particularly long work trip, I find perspective to help me dig out of my wallowing. He’s safe. We are fed. We have a home. We are healthy. And then I’m thankful.
So true! A girlfriend and I were just talking about the holidays coming up and how they tend to get stressful because we have multiple families to visit…and typically those households no longer have small children, but we do, and it got us on the topic of how everything changes, from your plans to your food, and most importantly, your priorities. I struggle explaining this to any of my childless friends because, like most things in life, they truly wont understand until they go through it themselves.
I am with you on the sickness front – it is awful to have a sick kid at home. I hate every second of it. But then I go on Facebook, and I see my college friend who has a little girl with SMA, who will never be able to run and jump and play, who might not live past 5 years old, and who needs around the clock attention, and as needed it, since the minute she was born. It is totally all about perspective. It’s ok to be sad about a sick kiddo, but that perspective makes all the difference in the world when it comes to keeping your patience and calm.
Great post!
Your post is beautiful and so true. I love being a mom, it’s super hard but I wouldn’t give it up for anything.