When raising a two year old, some days can be so full of joy. They are talking more, able to stay awake for at least half of the day, and usually enjoy just about every activity. Sometimes there are those days when your toddler will assert their independence, and you have to count to ten, breathe, and keep smiling.
Then there are days like today….when all I want to do is put a fork in my eyeball to avoid yet another meal time meltdown.
I like to call this stage”The Four T’s“; Teething, Tantrums, and the Terrible Two’s.
Our child has always been determined, and wants to do things herself, but for the most part has been pretty easy going. In the past week though, Em has sprouted three new molars, and the incessant whining and crying for mommy “up up mama pw-eeeease!” all day long has worn me down. No, I’m serious all. Day. Long.
She is refusing all meals now, and only wants ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. And don’t get me started on the color plate, cup, or type of utensils she must have during every meal. While I know this is a normal phase, I have forgotten how taxing and tiring these behaviors can be. However, there are several milestones and factors at work right now:
- She’s teething, in pain, and not sleeping as well. This equals cranky-whiny baby syndrome.
- She’s getting older, and wants to be like her big sister, and do everything solo.
- With this new found independence comes a bit a fear, and she needs more reassurance that mommy is still there for her.
So what’s a tired mama, who is also up nights with a teething toddler to do? Oh parents trust me…you are not alone. Here are a few things I’ve learned to help us all stay sane, and keep our children in check.
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| This is what happens when Daddy gives in to ice cream for lunch. Sigh. |
tips for taming the terrible two’s
- IGNORE – First, ignore them when they tantrum, and do not give in! I repeat, do not give in. No they may not have ice cream for lunch, and yes they must finish dinner if they want dessert. Stand your ground parents. You got this.
- CALM COUCH – If the tantrum is getting bad, then try the ‘calm couch’ or ‘thinking spot‘. When Emy starts throwing herself on the floor, or cannot calm down on her own, I put her on a loveseat (aka calm couch) and tell her when she stops crying mommy will hold her. It usually takes a while, but then we are able to work it out. Usually.
- TEETHING SOLUTIONS — If teething is a factor, try homemade popsicles, teething rings, teething tablets, or if need be Tylenol or Ibuprofen. I have learned to give them a dose of Motrin prior to nap time to ensure they get a good rest.
- JOBS ARE KEY –Give them chores. A two year old loves to have a job and be part of the action. Have them help put their clothes in the hamper, pick out their plate and fork and set the table, and sort the laundry. This makes them feel useful like a bigger kid!
- HUG TIME – Try to be understanding. Sometimes during these fits Emylia get so out of control she just needs a hug. It doesn’t mean you are allowing the behavior, but gives the toddler a little reassurance and may help the tantrum stop sooner.
- BE CONSISTENT -I feel like a cheerleader…be consistent…be be consistent! Seriously though, try to be on the same page as your spouse. If you are not consistent, the behavior can and will worsen. We are still working on this, as you can tell by the photo above.
- COCKTAILS! – And last but certainly not least, drink mass quantities of alcohol. Kidding (sort of!), or take some “me” time. Even if it’s just a glass of wine, or a trip to Target, anything to get a break if you are having a bad day. Some days even ten minutes of solitude can make a big difference!
HA! I love #7…excellent advice!!! This is a terrible phase she is going through and I feel sorry for you ! She definitely wants to assert her independence and I remember with my son I couldn’t take it. I remember his one and only tantrum at around this age and it was at Target. He wanted something, I didn’t give in and he threw himself on the floor and started screaming. I looked down at him, took a deep breath and walked away. When he looked up and saw that I had left him there he freaked out. Thankfully, he learned his lesson but he was still whiny and cranky. I did not find a remedy for that!
Thanks Ida…it isn’t fun. But ‘this too shall pass…right?!’
Ha ha! Your top pic is so cute! Ahh.. it’s such a season isn’t it? Good advice. Now just to implement it all and keep my cool! 😉
Thanks Georgia! It’s been a tough week, and I just got home from work at 12:30am, so gonna be a long day tomorrow. I’m hoping she snaps out of it soon. Breathe in, breathe out….
Love your tips and tricks for handling a nutty little one! I am such a crazy firm believer in consistency and not giving in to the tantrums – totally solid advice! My youngest is turning two in May and to give you just a little idea of her mentality….we call her “The Dragon.” From the moment she was born she’s had this headstrong, I KNOW WHAT I WANT attitude. I love it and want to encourage her strengths, but yea, The Dragon gets to be a bit much sometimes. I’ve employed a few of the tactics you’ve listed above but am totally going to try a few of the others!
The Dragon? You have your hands full huh?! It’s amazing how determined they can be at such a young age. I’m glad you found this useful…I’m heading to get the wine opener now…
Oh boy! I remember those days so well! Hang in! Stopping by from #Sitssharefest — Norine of Science of Parenthood
Hanging by my finger tips! Thanks for stopping by…love your site!
I like your “Four T’s” – been through those with my kiddos as well. Fabulous advice but I’ll take number 7 please… many times over.
Wishing you a lovely week.
xoxo
What? Three is worse than two? I’ve heard the teens are the worst of them all. Dear God, does it ever stop? My son is 2.5 now, and although he is all “Me do it!” thankfully, the tantrums have been few and far in between. That said, please don’t feel obligated to consider putting a fork in your eyeball…chewing glass is also a viable alternative.
Great post!
http://www.thebrowngirlwithlonghair.com/
Ha! Yes, I don’t even want to think about the teens! And I prefer chewing tinfoil…nice to meet you!
I love this post Kristen! Pinned it because even though Vi just turned 1…I’ve seen the terrible twos start with my nieces and nephews at one and a half 🙂 -Jillian
My oldest is going to be two in June and I don’t think he’s gotten into this phase yet. He’s whiny and crabby all the time but we haven’t had any tantrums so far. I think I’m more worried for when the twins get to this age lol, I better pin this for later 😀 Have a good week!
You are lucky Stephanie! My first didn’t do it until 2 1/2.
When I had my first, I heard someone call it the terrible 2 years, which is kinda true. My youngest is currently in the throws of this loveliness, so I sympathize. Since I am carrying my 3rd, I cannot indulge in #7, so take an extra sip or 5 for me. 🙂
My youngest will be two next month. She’s already full of attitude, so it should be an interesting year. I have found 3 to be much worse than 2 though, so maybe I have two bad years in store 😉 Thanks for the tips! It’s easy to forget them in the stress of daily life!!
haha I LOVE this! Our Daughter is 2.5 , I needed this! Loving this blog! http://thebees3.blogspot.com/
Thank you! Hope your daughter is nicer than mine!
Power struggles are tough! Good tips, I pinned them. Thanks for linking up at Happiness is Homemade!
What great tips! You are setting a great foundation for a positive, supportive relationship with your daughter! You go girl!
Mine’s just starting this at 18 months :-/ I thought I had a while left, but probably the imminent arrival of a little brother isn’t helping him feel more secure! Really helpful advice, thank you!
Thank you for the article, super helpful!! Our son will be 2 December 31st and has been throwing tantrums and super clingy some days. He won’t eat and throws food on the floor. Doesnt want to take naps any more but cries over everything when he is tired. I think he is teething too! Won’t let me dress him or change his diaper lol. Makes me want to pull my hair out.Struggling to be patient and stay calm hoping this phase will pass soon. I will definitely be implementing some of your tips.
Our son seems to be on the brink of this. All of a sudden he wants up at random times for no reason, cries when we brush his teeth in the back, isn’t interested in food nearly as much as he used to be, and just all around is far more whiny for no apparent reason. This was helpful to read and see that others are/have been there too.
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Haha this is funny and adorable at the same time. True enough raising a toddler is not like walk in a part. Everyday is a challenge especially if it’s your first time (like me). You’re paranoid and excited and scared – the feelings are freaking crazy. But as they say: They grow up too fast so we just have to enjoy no matter how mind reeling it is most of the time.
Terrible two survivor here too and now in our Threenager stage! Great advice, we are all in this together!! I read into this as well http://bit.ly/threenagers and was very surprised with the outcome being a mom who felt like I was doing it all wrong with so many days filled with tantrums! TOTAL game changer for this momma! You hit it head on with #1 though….DO NOT GIVE IN! You rock momma!