After 40 years on this planet I’m fine with saying that resolutions usually don’t work for me. Sure I keep trying to lose those last 10 baby pounds 4 years later. Or keep my house clean. Or maybe even finally give up biting my nails, but the truth is nothing ever sticks. There’s something so invigorating about the fresh start of a new year – only to feel like a complete failure four days days later when you realize you’ve already broken that promise to yourself.
So this year I did something simple; vowed to give more compliments, and decided to focus on what really matters, our family and myself. Yes you heard me, 2016 I’m dubbing Operation Be Who You Want to Be.
I will be away from the blog as much as I can in January, and try to give some much needed attention to our girls and myself. I need some time to rest, relax, rejuvenate, and refocus on what I’d like our life to be. I don’t know if it’s my age change, or our girls getting older, but it feels like I’ve outgrown our life in some ways. But like many, I’m still not sure what I want to be when I grow up. My dreams keep changing, and right now those dreams are clouded by uncertainty. For a type A perfectionist, not knowing or controlling your life is agonizing, but the time has come to slow down.
The past six years I’ve been living in limbo, a part time mom, part time reporter, and part time writer. Prior to parenthood, it was several years of fertility treatment. In the midst of all this chaos of parenthood, work, and balance, I’ve forgotten to live. You know, do things that I love. Read, workout, bask in the warm Florida sun, see the sea, cook and bake healthy foods, travel, and just be happy. I also haven’t keep up with our home, or taken care of my daughter’s and my own ongoing health issues. The sh*t has hit the fan, literally. I haven’t shared the specifics, but for the past year our little one has boycotted the potty, and I have been working with a gastro and behaviorist to try to calm her fears.
So over winter break it was time to make some changes.
The shift inside of me was growing so loudly I couldn’t ignore it anymore. It’s time to slow down and finally listen to myself. What is it that I truly love and makes me happy? How can I live the truest most authentic life, and really model that I am being who I want to be? These are things we talk about with our daughters, but how can I show and tell them to be themselves, if I’m living my life for others?
The next few weeks feel scary yet exciting as I’ve turned down several opportunities involving this site. Sure I’ll still be working HEAT games, and doing small work projects here and there, but for the most part I will be home with our girls. I have started on a new journey to be who I want to be, and there’s no going back now.
I can’t wait to see what unfolds during this month. What creative use I find for the time I would normally write, how my relationships change with the kids, and where this will lead. I was telling a friend recently that I never had maternity leave, I went back to work after I had our first at six weeks postpartum, and three weeks with our second. That’s how the freelance sports world is, and both of them came mid-season! So this sort of feels like my time to finally just be.
Be who I want to be.
Can’t wait to find out who she is.
Relax and enjoy your girls! I will miss reading your posts, but I know how important it is to take some time to just be with your family.
You are such a bright, talented and authentic person…I know you will love what you find. xoxo
Thank you friend!!
Good for you!! Thanks for sharing this! I can totally relate! I struggle with these thoughts myself! As moms we try to do sooo much and often forget to just be! Enjoy the time with your girls and hope you have fun figuring out what you want to be when you grow up! I’m still trying to figure that one out myself! Wishing you a fantastic and HAPPY 2016!
~ Monica 🙂
Aren’t we all Monica?! Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I think many struggle with this, it’s if and what we do though that will define us!
Congratulations! !!!!! I am so excited for you. Do not take on volunteer work, and remember to say NO.
As you take your break I am rede dictating myself to the blog. I disappeared, and boy has it felt good. Xoxoxo
I wish you good luck, and seriously, just unplug. You are not missing anything.
I am so excited for you and the girls.
Thank you! I will be checking you out for sure!
I totally get where you are at! Much love!
I get it, I do! I haven’t blogged since way before Christmas, and I feel as though I can breath. And that scares me, because maybe I’m not supposed to be blogger? I don’t know. Enjoy your time and l look forward to learning what you discover.
Good for you! Sometimes it loses it’s joy, time to step back and re-assess. So glad to hear from you!
Chris Carter says
You inspire me! Ah, have I been there- still am actually. I took time off the past month and I am learning that I need even more of it to figure things out- to truly find where I need to be and where I want to go. I think age does that- I’m right there with you! Good for YOU- for taking that precious time with your girls and all the things that fill you, fuel you, and feed you. I will try to be doing the same thing over in my ‘world’. 🙂
I inspire you? You inspire me with your encouraging words. You are worthy of this break, enjoy it, bask in it, and then come out the other side with a heart full of peace and love!
Angela Cruz says
This heartfelt post is beautiful! Sharing… will miss you on your blog, but 100% support that you are taking some time to focus on what’s important to you.
Thank you! We all have to do what’s best for us!
I think it is normal to go through a time when you are like, “What am I doing? What do I WANT to be doing?” I went through the same thing a few years back… and I can occasionally feel it creeping in again, but in a much smaller scale. Last time it happened, I got a new job since I felt I was ready for a larger TV market, had a baby and started a blog! ha!
Wow that’s a big move – new job, baby, and a blog!I think for me it’s more my health issues and needing to re-focus. I can’t do the HEAT, the blog, the webshow, social media, the chores at home…it’s too much. When things don’t add up subtract!
Good for you! I wish you all the best and look forward to seeing who “she” is too. I think she will be a grand lady. Hugs and good luck!
Crystal Renaud says
I am so happy that you are doing this for yourself and your family. It is all essential to being happy and healthy! Enjoy this next month, indulge in all the things you love, and squeeze those girls tight and enjoy their presence! Happy New Year!
Thank you! I thought of you today when I twisted my ankle, busted and tore up both knees. I wanted to dial it in, but I kept running. Was apropos!
Nicole Johnson says
I think you are going to be so happy with your time away. Enough it!!!
Nicole Johnson says
I meant enjoy it, not enough it….
I think it’s a great decision and one you won’t regret. Enjoy your girls (and yourself!!!).
Cindy C says
Right on! I don’t even bother with New Years resolutions anymore. I like your thoughts here!
Life has a way of telling you what you need to do…glad your listening!
Enjoyer time with your girls and reconnecting with your family! I hope to see you back sometime, but totally understand the need to reconnect.
i think this is great. i’m always amazed at how much you get done and how much i don’t get done. but (as u know) i do really try to stay connected with friends, house, parties, etc. and that takes up so much (good) time. however, i make no money which sucks. bottom line is, i never want to look back on life and say “i wish i would have…” (i.e.: seen the sea, be with my girls, be true to your authentic self)
And you might not be making money, but you are happy and healthy, which is more valuable in the long run. See…I’m chasing your life now!
Jennifer Corter says
This is so beautifully written. I’m excited for you, too! 2016 is definitely going to be YOUR year!