It’s here. While most people rejoice that it’s dance recital weekend, I’m over here sucking my thumb while rocking in a corner. Because that’s what being a dance mom is to me, hell on Earth. Especially when it’s time for dress rehearsals and dance recitals.
Don’t get me wrong, I love watching our girls perform, and seeing them shine on stage. But there’s just so much involved in actually getting them ready to perform. The lessons and tights, tutus and shoes. Then they grow and need bigger shoes, and rip their tights so we have to pick up more of those. And don’t get me started on the bun donuts and hair pins they lose every week.
Keeping two girls in dance is causing us to go hashtag broke, and that’s before the bills for costumes and recital tickets roll in. And as I was doing makeup this morning for tiny dancer number two, I thought, “How can the universe possibly send me a hormonal tween and ridiculously long makeup list in the same weekend?” I seriously suck at being a dance mom, here’s why.
7 Reasons I Suck at Being a Dance Mom
- I never know when anything is. And it’s not the dance studio’s fault, I take full responsibility. They send out email after email, and even send home papers that I always lose. Which leaves me scrambling yelling, “What? Your dress rehearsal is TONIGHT?!”
Not terrible.
- I suck at doing buns. OMG why did God give me girls? I am the daughter of a hairdresser and I can’t for the life of me do a decent bun. No matter how many times I practice, I still can’t get it. I have the patience of a gnat and literally have to meditate before I attempt hair and makeup or I lose it. I mean I lose it anyways, but it helps a little.
- Makeup is my fatal flaw. Not on me of course, but on them. Especially when they never freaking stop moving! I promise I’m not going to poke your eye out, now let me do your eyeliner yo! Then there’s the dreaded red lipstick, my poor girls look like clowns half the time. Thank goodness for makeup remover.
- I’m never there to video the routine. They always let parents come in to video the routines for recitals and I’m never there. I’m sure they sent out an email telling me to be there, but I never read it.
- I never buy the pictures. Our girls get so mad at me that I never buy the class pictures, but I can take them on portrait mode on my phone! And I already bought your school pictures, yearbook, and spring pictures, what are we seriously going to do with a dance class picture?
- I loathe the actual recital. I mean I love watching our girls dance, and the itty bitty’s are sooooo cute. The company dancers are usually amazing to watch as well, but it’s such a long show. Like longer than Hamilton. How many times can you see a group hold hands and gallop in a circle?
- I’m always late. This one is weird because I am an early person. I try to be 10 minutes early to everything, but when it comes to dance I’m late. The tights are itchy! Where’s my bun donut! I can’t find my dance shoes. Oh the drama of tracking down all the things!
I realize that most of this is my fault, and if I was organized I’d be able to breeze through most of this but dance eludes me. It wasn’t my thing growing up and I really need an assistant to manage their dance stuff. Because I suck at this and practice is clearly not making perfect.
If you liked this post, please follow along on Instagram and Facebook. Also please SUBSCRIBE to my PODCAST BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE!
You might also like:
10 Signs You’re Living with a Threenager
Mom your too hard on yourself!! She looks beautiful! Do they have a dance bag? My granddaughters have a dance bag and that’s where everything pertaining to dance is kept. Once their leotard and tights are washed they go back in the dance bag. Makeup, hair accessories and shoes are kept in there too. The oldest is part of the traveling Company so it makes it easier to have everything in one place but even for the little one it makes it easy to know her shoes are in the bag. I agree that the recital is too long, we have an all-day performance because, of course, you have to see all of their dances and they are scheduled for both the morning performance and the afternoon performance! What matters most is that you’re there for her supporting her!! When they look back on these times they aren’t going to remember that their bun might have been not as neat or pretty as their friend’s but that you were there watching them perform!! You got this Momma!!
Good idea! I need to get a dance bag. And thank you!
Oh my goodness this had me pee down the leg laughing 😂I have two girls (9 and 11) and I swear the entire checkbook is checks to the dance studio. There’s tuition (monthly), then costumes for competition and recital (those are due in December), shoes… because the color we had to buy last year is not the color we need this year. I have decided I should just have my paycheck direct deposited into the dance teachers account. Oh and I do buy the pictures…. but I no longer buy the package (I don’t need 8 wallets of my daughter doing a tie stand) I now buy an 8×10 and it goes in the envelope with the other dance pics I have never displayed. I spend more time driving to the studio for practice than I do driving anywhere else. Don’t get me started on the makeup… comp makeup has to be applied a certain way so all the girls look the same. Eyeliner is the worst… I never knew my kid could blink so many times in a 10 second period. We are on year 5 of dance so it looks like we’re in it for long haul.
OMG the blinking is the WORST! Glad we can commiserate together. #broke.