Aaaaah, the holidays. What is it about Santa, the elves, and all the holiday chaos that brings out the silly and impetuous questions? Recently our now three year old started preschool, and has been learning a great deal about Christmas. And our oldest daughter in Kindergarten has unfortunately been learning about boys. So here are some of the interesting, funny, and downright disturbing conversations we’ve had recently in December’s edition of Things Kids Say!
BOYS
Lila (age5): “Mommy I have a boyfriend.”
Me: “What’s his name?”
Lila: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Then how is he your boyfriend?”
Lila: “Because he told me he was”.
Me: “No, no no no no…that’s not how it works. He needs to ASK you, and then you get to pick if you want to be his girlfriend. By the way, you’re too young to have a boyfriend. So tell him he’s a boy and can be your friend….but can’t be your boyfriend.”
Yeah…so I got a chance to meet this little punk boy who staked his claim, then she drops this bombshell on me – he liked her and he put a ring on it. Very sweet, but she had no clue what it meant, and lost it quickly. I did ask her though what she liked about this particular boy who brings a bright smile to her face and she responded:
Lila: “Well he’s cute and has spiky hair, kind of like a dinosaur.”
True love. My husband gave her an assignment, find out his name!
SCHOOL
Emy: “Mommy school is too long, I’m too little to go.”
Me: “But what did you like about it?”
Emy: “Painting, compoopers and snack time. But I didn’t like snack so I cried.”
I like compoopers too! But am sad that she cries a little, hoping the adjustment is quick.
BOOTY
At dinner this past weekend we decided to make up a story and everyone could add their own line. Here’s what our three year old came up with:
Emy: “Once upon a time there was a boy named Booty. Amen” (what is it with butts and booty’s?!)
She also liked knock knock jokes that night at dinner, but just couldn’t get them quite right!
Emy: “Knock, knock. (who’s there?) Orange. (Orange who?) Why you crying?”
SANTA
Lila: “Why doesn’t Mrs. Claus deliver the presents?”
Me: “Because that’s Santa’s job.”
Lila: “But I thought anything boys do girls can do too.”
Me: “Well she has a different job, she is in charge of making all the toys.”
Lila: “I don’t think that’s fair, she should get a turn to fly and have fun too. Why do boys always get to be in charge like the Principal?”
Yeah, she’s already noticing inequality and the balance of power between men andwomen. Insightful and observant little bugger – glad she’s a thinker though!
BEYOND
This one threw me, I picked Lila up from school and out of the blue she says:
Lila: “Mommy, when I’m a grandmother, Daddy’s going to be dead. But I’ll hug him before he goes and I’ll see him again in heaven.”
Morbid right? And on that note I’ll wrap it up….hoping this week brings less death and booty talk, and more kindness and giving. (we can only hope…)
These two!!!! I absolutely love the crossed out punk!!!
Oh boy! So many doozies. I love that she questions inequality. That’s so deep.
And Scarlet says the same thing about school being too long. She misses preschool. She wants a day off. Little does she know, she’s getting a whole day off on Wednesday to hit all the Christmas stuff in New York City.
I’ll meet you in NYC?! Sounds so magical…FAO Schwartz, the Rockettes, Serendipity, Ice Skating in Central Park….sigh.
Boom shlakaaka boom boom, problem solved.
Amen Mrs Claus should get a chance to fly the sleigh!! Maybe I should write Santa and tell him this 🙂
Right? I mean only Santa can drive? WTH?
Thanks for making me smile today! So did she ever find out his name?
Yes! And she sits across from him every day at lunch, and he kissed her! The gall! No kissing til’ marriage…
Oh my word, too funny! I love that Lila likes the boy because he has dinosaur hair. There are worse reasons to like someone 😉
Let’s see, last night Annelise came at me with a pair of play kitchen tongs and said, “Mummy, hode still. I needa cut you!” Not sure what game she was playing, but I’m going to go with Surgeon for my own peace of mind, haha.
yeah…no cutting please! They are the best…I need to write more down…
Love this! I always say, kids are the best comedians. And this is confirmation!!
They really are! Thanks for reading!
Oh my god, LOL! He put a ring on it! My son has a friend that is 6 weeks older than him and they have grown up together. Well, they really like each other and want to get married someday. My son put a ring on it and is already making future plans! *facepalm*
No! Tell him arranged marriages! When he’s older he can watch Boomerang!
Bwahaha!
OMG – your girls are insightful – at such a young age. My oldest son (8 years old) had a girl chase him last year. He came home and announced that Brooke was his girlfriend, and we then asked if he liked her. He said “no, but she told me that I was her boyfriend, so I guess I am!” – needless to say – it didn’t last!
whew! Glad there wasn’t any breakup drama!
Our 15 year old is taking a sex ed class. After the class on STIs she got in the car announced she is going to die a virgin. Love Planned Parenthood’s sex ed class!!
That’s one way to teach em!
Oh my goodness! This is priceless!
I love the equality bit – hilarious!
So darn awesome. I get morbid comments from my oldest all my time (like on my birthday she made sure to tell everyone that I will die first because I’m the oldest). Happy 40th to me… LOL.
Thanks for sharing (and for the chuckles).
xoxo
Well that stinks! Did you tell her that 40 is fabulous?!
It is so crazy the stuff kids say! My son is always coming up with the most bizarre stuff, i started writing it all down a few years back… we still laugh when I read some of them sometimes. 🙂