We all see the term Supermom everywhere these days. There are twitter handles named Supermom, the hashtag #supermom, blogs and You tube channels titled it, and there’s been a bajillion and one posts written on the subject. Yes we all want to be everything for everyone at one point in our lives, and then reality sets in. It’s impossible to be supermom because she doesn’t exist.
Yes I said it, and I’ll say it again. Supermom does not exist…nor does she have to.
Art Courtesy Rob Cabrera
Where did the unrealistic expectations come from? The Pinterest perfect parties (yes I’m guilty…multiple times), the balance of work and home life, the great mom clothes, and the ability to juggle bake sales at school and date nights with the husband. Why do we all compare ourselves to others? And don’t act like you don’t do it…because we all do.
I personally have never strived to be a supermom – but am called it frequently and often wonder why. PR people write it to me in their emails, friends comment #Supermom on my Instagram pictures when I bake something yummy, and people introduce me as Supermom as well. I know they are just trying to be nice, and I’m not quite sure why it bothers me so much…but it does. Partly because in my opinion there is no such thing as a perfect mom…or a Supermom. She might look it on the outside with her immaculate SUV and perfectly coiffed hair and nails, but on the inside we all have our struggles. We all appear like we have it together in our witty and sarcastic Facebook posts but let’s be real…motherhood is anything but easy.
We all sometimes forget to count to ten before we yell at our kids for not sharing…again.
We all sometimes forget to shower and wear our workout clothes from morning until night.
We all forget to bring in snack on our designated day at preschool, and are sometimes the one mom that doesn’t RSVP to that birthday party that’s tomorrow.
We all wonder things like, “Should I go back to work?” or “Should I just stay home and give them the attention they seem to be craving?”
We all wake up at 6:00 AM on a Saturday and groan…”Why? Why can’t I sleep just one more hour?”
Let’s face it, being a mother in itself is a job, and then adding work, school, after school activities, and trying to make time for our spouses can sometimes make the tower crumble. It isn’t about being a Supermom though…it’s about surviving, thriving, and most importantly being happy. It’s also about learning to not be so hard on ourselves, and lessening the expectations in our lives. Because it’s not a race…and we’re not in a competition. We all think this to be true… but now it’s time to start believing it.
While society and social media may make us all feel like we have to do everything, the reality is Supermom is a myth. She was created by us and can be destroyed by us with our most powerful tool…our minds.
So when you see my silly new frosting creation, it’s not because I’m trying to out-do you on Instagram, I’m simply a baking nerd who has fun experimenting and creating.
When you see another article I’ve written or new project I’m launching, it’s not because I want to be a star, it’s because I’m driven and easily bored.
And when you hear that I’ve forgotten to send in those school forms again, or was the mom that flaked on the field trip, it’s not because my children aren’t important, it’s because life sometimes gets overwhelming.
I understand that some people use the label Supermom as a compliment, and I am truly appreciative of your praise. But I can’t handle the pressure that the term Supermom implies…and just simply preferred to be called mom. A perfectly imperfect woman who is trying to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up, and in the process not screw up her kids. That’s not a supermom…that’s just plain mom. And I’m lucky to be her.
Same here and definitely just a plain mom here, too who does have her fair share of mistakes on some days, too.
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Can’t wait to see it!
I agree! Its time to be comrades not competition. Its time to take back the hastag. I’m totally #teamsurvivingmom!
Yes! I kind of gave up on the whole Supermom gig at baby 3. I don’t even try to pretend I can do it all. I know I can’t. I can love my children wit hall my heart and try my hardest and that seems to be enough.
As I sit here in my workout clothes (and it is almost 1pm) and read this post, I am nodding in agreement!
I wish I only occasionally forgot to RSVP to kids birthday parties…or missed school forms. But the reality is, that with everything going on, something is pretty much always likely to slip. I think you’re right that most people are trying to be nice, but that’s almost like telling a pregnant woman that she doesn’t look pregnant. Thanks for the reminder!
If I tried to piece together “Supermom” based on a compilation of characteristics that people seem to think this mythical mom creature possesses, she’d probably turn out like Barbie – the proportions are grossly impossible.
Good message for me today and one I needed to read!
i disagree somewhat… i think we’re all supermoms. we just all have our individual definitions of what our own super-mom is!!!! so sorry chicky – you are a super – mom… like it or not! 🙂
My feeling is that we are all supermoms in our own way but I get what you are saying. As women we already put enough pressure on ourselves and eachother – we don’t need the superhuman load as well.
Yes, and I get why the term was invented. In this day and age we all work in some form and it’s hard to juggle, hence supermom. I just don’t like the pressure, I feel like a fraud when people call me that name. Isn’t it silly in some ways?!
It’s funny how we only show our best stuff to the world, knowing that it’s not the whole truth, yet still assume that everyone else has it all together. I love this! It’s exactly why I started my blog.
I think when people call you that they probably mean it as a compliment. They are just impressed with all you do. You are amazing after all!
I completely agree…with you. There is nothing like supermom .But i have to say whenever I am called one …I feel good. It’s like being recognised for your achievements ☺
I have ambivalent feelings toward the term “supermom.” Like you, it puts additional pressure on me to over perform my personal and professional duties and activities not to mention my favorite roles as mom and wife. On the other hand, if I’m real about it and show that this life isn’t easy…I would take it as a compliment that I’m honored and well-respected. Perhaps they should say – You are super, mom.
Love that Caryn! And yes agreed – it IS a supermom…I just feel like too many moms are expected to do too much. Maybe it’s my own insecurities of not doing enough…who knows?!
Yes! The myth of the Supermom has such a strong pull. I like plain mom much better. But not plain old mom. I can’t handle that.
good point!
I agree with you. I am not a supermom either. In fact, I may not even always be a great one! I actually wrote about this once. http://themadmommy.com/2014/04/i-am-not-a-supermom.html
So true. I’m a normal mom, with unique moments of super hero-ism. Like taking care of sick kids! Sheesh, that’s tough.
I’m driven and easily bored too so when people are surprised by how much blogging I do, they don’t realize that I’m like a shark and I can’t sit still otherwise!
YES! Amen friend!
The supermom term gets to me too… I’m not! Come spend 1 hour with me and my family and you’ll quickly see that I’m like any other mom. I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got.
Thanks for sharing!
Wishing you a lovely evening.
xoxo
Earlier today another driver called me a Super Mofo. If I had their email address I’d send this post over and ask them to read it so they would stop. 🙂
I am waiting for the day when we can just be parents and not be labeled for what we do or not do and how we do it.
A freaking men! We are just humans after all!
What a fabulous honest post. The Supermum term is so annoying because we are all doing our best by our kids and nobody is perfect.
AMEN. I don’t like the competition and comparisons the term “supermom” draws out of me…..I don’t want to be labeled anything, truth be told. You’re right – the pressure is annoying and stressful. I get the compliment part of it, too, but sometimes doesn’t it feel just a tad bit backhanded? Like “oooo, look at you…”??
I dunno. I think I am a super person, how about that.
I think you are a super person too! And yes I sometimes take it backhanded as well…but honestly it’s us to us on how we react to things isn’t it?
Honestly, who could live up to the title Super Mom? I’m aiming for competent. And mostly I’m nailing competency…except for that day I forgot to pick up my daughter and my neighbor’s kid from kindergarten (and then I cried the whole way home).
You might enjoy my recent parenting post: http://deadpandiaries.com/2015/03/19/free-range-parent-meets-helicopter-mom/
Found your blog on the SITS share. I’ll look for you again:)
I love this article… even though I may consider you a supermom! – I promise never to speak the words!
Fact of the matter is that we all do the best that we can do with the resources we have available.
Fantastic post! I agree, there is no such thing as a Supermom. We’re all just….moms! Trying our hardest each and every day. On the surface it make look like I’m balancing a lot, but that’s just because I’ve always been the type to like to keep really busy, and very rarely do I have it all together. Really, who does? (And what you see on social media I don’t think is every a true reflection of someone’s actual life!) Thanks for sharing, stopping by from SITS.
Love this! None of us are supermom. So true! I don’t think I ever could be even if I tried. We all have our flaws that’s for sure.
Great article! We moms need to stick together rather than being critical of one another…and ourselves. Thanks for sharing!
Even when meant as a compliment, I have a hard time swallowing this.I hear it often when it comes to the amount of work that I have to do for the boys’ allergies, but I do it because I need to. It also means that I am neglecting other areas, so I feel far from super.
Glad I’m not alone!
Maybe we should start calling each other Real Moms. I’m no where near being supermom. I try squeezing a million things into my day plus remembering the regular things can be overwhelming, nothing super about it. Thanks for being a Real Mom and being transparent! Thanks for sharing on Small Victories Sunday link up.
I love Carin’s comment where she says that we should rather say: You are super mom.
I am one of those people who thrive on comments and ‘thank you’ and it’s wonderful if people do acknowledge all the hard work that we do.
I think the fact that I get my five kids out of the house in the mornings, fed and dress makes me a supermom. Maybe it depends on what you feel makes you a Supermom. I love that fact that you got me thinking about this. Thank you. Stopping by from Mommy Mondays.
I agree we don’t have to put these expectations on ourselves or from others! Thanks for sharing on Monday Madness link party 🙂
I have been called supermom on occasion as well, I find it shocking and a bit confusing, since I have the same line of thinking as you! There is no perfect mom or wife, and I certainly don’t have it all together! So thank you from one non-supermom to another for your brave honesty.
The only time I crave to hear this is when my kids utter these words…”You’re Super, Mom!” Other than that, I could never hear it and be happy. As long as my kids and hubby think I ‘m awesome that is more than I could ask for. Keep being Super! Lol!
Visiting from Mommy Madness. ‘Supermom’ is such a relative term. Some days (okay, moments) I look around and think “Hey, I’ve really got my act together!” and just a couple of hours later everyone is screaming and the house looks like I’m getting ready for the camera crew from Hoarders to come. We’re all one part Supermom, one part hot mess.
This job mom is challenging enough as it is. We are our own worst critics. I hear what you are saying! It makes me cringe sometimes when I hear friends or people around me say I am a great mom. I am the best mom for my children. I love them immensly. But I am far from the best mom and I accept that. It’s a learning process and there is no such thing as a perfect mother as a whole. Just a perfect mom for our own children. Great post.
Always trying to be super gets hard. Such a relief to hear something like this!