Television has always been the center of my world. Growing up I was glued to Good Morning America, watching every single morning before school. I’ll never forget marveling at Joan Lunden and her simple elegance and poise. Her cheerful presence drew me in, and at 13 years old, I knew I would someday work in television.This became my focus, and all through high school and college I looked for every opportunity to intern or volunteer at local television stations. Always knowing I wanted a career, but thinking that children were not part of the plan. Not yet anyways. I was on a mission, and my twenties were full of ego driven workload. I was a producer and an editor, with aspirations to move in front of the camera. As a 20-something though, I didn’t have the confidence yet though to put myself out there. Instead I worked 60-70 hours a week behind the scenes learning everything I could. That’s how it is in broadcasting…the harder you work, the better you get, and the more you get noticed.
But then something funny happened when I turned 30. It was like a proverbial light went on in my head and heart. I wanted to be a mom. And I was ready to try anything in life, like even being in front of the camera. Because I finally cared less about what others thought of me, and more about what I thought. Isn’t it amazing what a little confidence can do for you? I didn’t need acceptance from others, because I approved of myself. Or was starting to anyways… 
I spent the first few years of my thirties enjoying being a reporter while struggling with infertility. Like really struggling, it took seven heartbreaking years to get pregnant. After I became a mother, I slowly evolved my career into being a part-time reporter, part-time producer, and hands-on mom. After the birth of my second child though, I’ve become restless. I’ve been reliving the dreams in my mind that I once had for myself years ago, and trying to figure out how to achieve them. Or if I even want them anymore, especially with kids, whom I hate leaving for more than SIX TO SEVEN hours at a time.
Somedays I spend hours online looking for that next big TV gig. Should I move to news? Should I look in other markets?
Then other days I am completely happy that I’ve finally found my sweet spot. I mean…how lucky am I to work for a Championship NBA team a few nights a month, freelance as a television and web host, write an award winning blog, and still get to raise my girls three to four days a week? It really is a dream come true.
A few weeks ago I was talking to my husband about what my next step should be in my career. I confided in him that I felt like I’ve failed because I wasn’t on a path that even resembled what my dreams for my career used to be. I still haven’t worked an Olympic Games, I’ve never been a full-time sideline reporter, And there’s no way I’m landing on GMA unless I have quintuplets or survive a natural disaster or some other bizarre anomaly!
He said something so simple but so true. “You didn’t know you were going to be a mom when you were 16 Kristen, and what that would mean to you.
That quick conversation with him really resonated with me, and I keep replaying it over and over again in my mind. You see, so many of us in this industry measure success by network level, regional, national, market size etc. We quantify success by our annual salary, which car we drive, or which designer handbag or shoes we are wearing.
But the past few years success to me is something so different and blissfully simple. Success is having both my girls finish their dinner without throwing their sweet potatoes on the floor. Success is hearing them say please and thank you, and feeling their little arms hug me. Honestly, success is getting to bed by 10pm after a long, hot shower and being able to read a little on my Nook!
But that’s the difference when you reach your thirties isn’t it? It’s an acceptance of where you are, and knowing that you are here because you were meant to be. I will always be driven to have some sort of career, and still have my bucket list of events to get to. But maybe I’ll just have to go as a spectator instead. For now though, I’m having fun dreaming new dreams…like picking a kindergarten. Then someday taking my kids snow skiing…and way down the road going wedding dress shopping.
Thirty for me has been a time of self discovery. A realization that my inner voice is important, and I’m finally listening. I understand that I don’t need to live up to others ideals, I just need to find what brings me peace and joy. Rather than focusing on what I don’t have, or may not have achieved, I value now what I do have. I embrace and savor each day…and can’t wait to see where life takes me next.
This post was originally written for Erin Kennedy’s the Love For 30 Project, and edited for my site.
Great article! 🙂 I couldn’t love my job anymore, and I get to have PLENTY of days off to just be a mom!
Lucky you!
I can relate to this article on so many levels! You are so right on how after kids, there is so much more to how success is valued! Regardless, I’d say that you are more than just accomplished and your husband totally gets it too! Love this article!
Thanks for stopping by Shivani, glad you ‘get’ success too! My hubby balances me…I’m lucky.
I totally relate. My vision of my thirties was way different right up until I got to mine. But I’ve loved my 30s. I’ve never been so confident in knowing who am I and what I think. I’d much rather spend my time on other things rather than spending it wondering what other people think.
I’m coming up on 30 and I REALLY hope this is true. I’m starting to feel a really unpleasant struggle between wanting to settle down more and needing to push harder to make my career goals come true…. it’s really not the most pleasant inner conflict. Thanks for the boost of confidence that maybe it will all sort itself out soon!
Stopping by from the SITSGirls!
It will work itself out…especially if you are willing to find other ways to make your dreams happen. You CAN have it all…just allow life to happen. Good luck!
This is all so incredibly true. Climbing the corporate ladder never looked so irrelevant than it did the day I returned from my maternity leave after having my first child. I cursed feminists, my graduate degree, and my high paying job for not allowing me to stay home with my kids. My mom told me getting my education would give me choices but I felt like I had none. But all the hard work did pay off because my credibility allowed me to work part time and from home and to take all those well earned vacation days that piled up. It all seems to work out, right?
Me too Tara! It’s amazing how much becoming a mom can mean, it really puts things into perspective.
What a lovely post! I too struggle with the work/mom/career expectations game. It’s so important to understand what is right for you. Great insight.
Thanks for linking up with Spread the Love!
I love this. There are a lot of things still left on my dreams list but life is fluid and perspectives change and being happy is most important to me now.
good for you! It’s fun to dream new dreams everyday!
Great post! I needed this. I have two little girls too, and am often torn between pursuing career dreams with getting my PhD now or putting them on hold because by pursuing them I think I would lose the balance I’ve been working hard to have as a working mom. Going to follow with Google +. Found you through the Monday Blog hop
Angela @ Time with A & N
Wow…PhD is a huge commitment. That would be tough with kids, but not impossible. I would say follow your heart…if you really want it you will find a way to make it work. good luck!
Wonderful post Kristen. It’s amazing how things can change. Of course you know that my life is likely taking a path that I never planned, but I’m already changing my plans and dreams. I know you haven’t reached all of the dreams you used to have, but you’ve still accomplished so much. You’re quite an inspiration. 🙂
Thank you for your kind words Elizabeth! Life takes you where you are supposed to go…good luck with your change of plans.
Your husband is right!
The dream you had hidden away was the gift of being a mother, but not just a mother an awesome loving mother! You still can conquer anything you set in your path, and now you have cheerleaders on your sideline cheering *you* on!
My dreams have certainly changed since entering my 30s; there are some new goals I’ve placed in front of me that years ago I would have never dreamed to touch.
We all evolve…
Best Wishes!
Thanks for linking up to Mommy Monday!
Thanks for having me and for your kind words!
That’s a great post. You never know what life is going to through at you, but I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Thanks for linking up to Sweet and Savoury Sunday, stop by and link up with us again this weekend, I’d love to see you there 🙂 Have a great weekend
Girl! I HEAR YOU. I love this post (love, love, love it). I can totally relate.
When I was a kid (and even a teenager, and even into my adult years), I was convinced I would never be happy unless I was living on a farm raising and showing horses. It just…wasn’t even fathomable that my life wouldn’t follow the course I had been creating. Then we decided to have kids, and it wasn’t even that being a mom was on my radar – it just felt like time to have a baby. So I had my son and HOLY COW my life changed. My dreams have changed and turned and I’ve rediscovered other parts of me that have always been there, but kind of lying dormant (like WRITING, instead of RIDING). Now I’m hoping that all this hard work, and blogging, and all these other projects I’m working off will pay off in a couple of years when I can actually have the time and money to enjoy horses again!
Also, I never knew how much I would love being a mom!
Thanks for linking up to Wordy Wednsday!
I hear you Carrie, and I’m so glad you’ve found writing. I feel the same way! Glad to hear our stories are so similar. Maybe you should write about riding?!
This is SO true!! I have lived in those same shoes. I decided to become a stay at home mom after my 2nd child was born and left a successful career with long hours. It has not been without struggles but I wouldn’t change it for the world! Becoming simplified is truly a gift!! Thanks for sharing at The Mommy Club Link Party.
Really Sherri? I’ve considered staying home too…and not sure if I would like it. Would love to hear more!
For me being 30s means being more mature a lot. I still have some ambition, but compared to the 20s, it is much more considerate. I really enjoy your post. It makes me turn back and think more about how different I have been as I grow older. Thank you for sharing in Pintastic Pinteresting Party.
LOVE it! I’m not sure I could have been a mom in my 20s. I knew I wanted to be, but I don’t think I was ready. I’m so glad I waited and got all that out of my system (as it sounds like you did too). And yes, success is subjective. I wish you lived closer! I know we’d be friends!
I couldn’t have been a mom in my 20’s either! It’s kismet Sarah!
What a wise husband you have. I decided in my 30’s that I didn’t want to do it all and do it not at 100%. I”d rather be a 100% mom and a 100% part-timer. No it’s not what I worked so hard for in my teens and 20’s, but it is the right choice for me and my family. Thanks for sharing at Inspire Us Thursday on Organized 31.
Interesting perspective Susan. I’ve thought that too…sometimes…but this is right for me for now. Maybe someday my dreams will change when I’m 40!
I have always been a career woman….had my first baby at 30 and continued to work. My second child came when I was just shy of 40. I am still working at a satisfying job with caring management, but as we head into the preschool years and my oldest heads into high school, my heart is ACHING to stay home….. it will be interesting to see as you get older where your heart leads!
I’m 43 now and work part-time, I still love being with my girls!
Great post. I’m a mom in my 20’s and I am hitting the 30 mark.
For what its worth, it gets even better in the 40s:) Dreams morph, and we grow to value others above ourselves, which is all good!
Thanks Seana…you are giving me hope for the next decade!
So true! Thank you for sharing.
Tonya
Very true words Kristen. My dreams have changed from teenager, young adulthood, marriage and parenting, and IT IS OKAY! Happy SITS day, hope you have plenty of fun!
What a great read! As a woman in my mid 20s with my own career in television, I have recently realized that my dreams are shifting from corner office CEO to full time mommy some day! Thank you for posting this, I love learning how successful ladies achieve the elusive work/life balance!
Great post 🙂 I love that dreams can change and it’s nice to be reminded every once in a while, that it’s not necessary to be disappointed in the change, but to embrace and appreciate it. Thanks for writing and I’m happy I found you on here via SITS..HAPPY SITS DAY!
-Sandra
Well said! Embrace is my word for 2014!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. Your last para is definitely a take-away for me, And I think it’s fair to say that we all reach that age of self-discovery..It may not be the 30’s but some day, we do. Happy to have discovered you through SITS. Enjoy your day being featured!
There was a great meditation teacher who used to say something like, if your dreams aren’t changing then you’re probably stagnating.
I’m coming up to 50 soon and its a neat spot to be able to look back on so much but still have a lot to look forward too. If I could go back to when I was 30 and tell myself where I am now, I would not have believed myself : )
Congrats on your SITS day. I don’t get to look at all the featured bloggers, but wanted to check out you work because and look at ways your sports life ties in with you children. I’m heading to look around now.
That’s a lovely thought…Thanks for sharing!
I wish I was that wise when I was in my thirties! It took an acrimonious divorce starting when I was 39 to really begin the process of self-growth and the acceptance that I can’t control a lot of things in my life. I think no matter where you find yourself in life, always try to put forth good effort with a good attitude.
This is the third post I’ve read this work where the author’s career dreams changed in their 30’s. Funny how when we are in our 20’s we think we know exactly what we want and what we want now we will always want. I’m 51 and would love to change careers. I became a CPA at 34 and now want something less stressful.
I reached 40 this past July and had a mini-mid-life crisis. Nothing too big. You are so correct. Your dreams change. Your goals do, too. And it’s okay. You didn’t fail. Just as we wouldn’t hold it against our children that they never become garbage truck drivers because that’s what they really thought was super cool at 4, we shouldn’t hold a grudge against ourselves because we change our minds about what we want to be when we grow up! We are NOT stagnant, and neither are our ambitions. Happy SITS day!
We really are hardest on ourselves aren’t we? I hope you made it through the other side of your crisis!
This was beautiful. We don’t need to know what the next 5 to 10 years will bring. Life changes. We change. Each day is a gift. You are successful! You are right where you need to be and though it took time to get there, the job as mom suits you well. I get what you are saying. We always put pressure on ourselves. You are your biggest critic. You have the rest of your life to reach your goals. Hug those girls today. Work can always wait!!
We are SO alike!! I am so happy that I found your blog, first off! I dreamed of being a sports reporter since I can remember. I was glued to the TV every weekend watching whatever game was on. When I got to college, I majored in broadcast communications and worked every event I could for the little TV station that the college had and even the one that was broadcast throughout the neighboring towns. I was even given the opportunity 3 summers in a row to work with ESPN/NBC/PGA when their tours came through town. It was a dream come true because I met sooo many people who had the careers I wanted! I stayed connected to them for years, they got me interviews for internships, part-time jobs, unpaid jobs (blah!) and so on until one day I just couldn’t handle the unknown future anymore. My then boyfriend, now husband, asked when I was going to stop job hopping (even though he didn’t understand that is how it was done in the industry I was trying to get into – at least in the beginning) and asked me to just settle down. I worked at the local Fox Sports for a bit and then just kind of had a change of pace and wanted a “normal” job. I got my masters in marketing, got married and had baby #1 which TOTALLY changed my career choice. I became a stay-at-home-mom but still working at home for different companies. And today…baby #2 is on his way soon and now I am moving onto my next adventure with my own blog (coming soon!) So THANK YOU for posting this because even though 30 won’t happen until next year for me, I feel like our paths are so similar and this hit home for me!!
It’s so nice to meet you Christine and it DOES sound like are beginnings are very similar. Those that don’t work in sports have no idea what commitment it takes to be completely prepared for a broadcast….not only the knowledge and scripting but your clothes, hair etc. It an completely exhilarating yet exhausting job that leaves me wrecked the day after a game. Only time will tell how long that part of my career will be in the cards…but it’s been a great run so far!
My life now resembles nothing of the dreams I had when when I was younger and that’s ok. My younger dreams never included kids or a husband, but my life now does! It’s amazing how our dreams and lives can change.
Dreams change. I think they *have* to, because we do.
I LOVE this post – and I adore the quotes. I want to PIN them! Once upon a time, when I was 17, I wanted a career in broadcasting, but behind the scenes. Went to school for it and got scared by how competitive it was, and switched major in my sophomore year. But I always wonder. You should be very proud of yourself, Reading this, I think you have a dream career – a little bit of everything you love.
I think when we’re younger we tend to shape our dreams around other people’s expectations. As we get older, we get to know our true dreams and what’s really in our hearts. It’s a wonderful evolution!
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on career decisions (past & present) recently and totally agree – as with most things, being a mom changes your priorities around work & career.
the moment i had a child my “new dream” left the world of television and became much more simple.
i think dreams need to change as you grow… otherwise growing isn’t really working, is it?
Kristen, looking back on your old dreams can be such a buzzkill. I agree with your husband…and that stellar tweet you’ve got prepared. Success is in so much more than what we once thought we would be. When you’re young you have no idea how much time, energy and love it takes to be a parent. It’s so easy to dream big…really big. But just know that your life is one that so many would love to live. (and I completely agree that success is in not having dinner all over the floor at the end of the meal!)
Life changes and sometimes you change with it. I’m a few weeks short of 46 and who I am and what I want is very different than 30.
I am good with it.
YES! They change…. and they should – because we grow and life is fluid. I love hearing when women follow their hearts – even if it goes against their initial plans or what is expected of them. I am proud of you!
Kristen – You are exactly where you are supposed to be every minute of every day of your life. What you’ve achieved personally and professionally is amazing and it was always there waiting for you. Just like tomorrow and the next day behind it. Continue to trust in yourself but most importantly trust your place in the world around you. Grow. Learn. Change. Adjust. But always have faith that you are where you are on purpose. It’s just a matter of figuring out why and taking everything you can from each experience. You know, like you have been all along!
Thank you Matt – as always for your support. I miss you!
Thank you Matt – as always for your support. I miss you!
Such true and insightful words! I was just thinking about the huge and wild dreams I had 10 years ago, and how they’ve changed over time. I used to think nothing was worth doing unless it was big and impressive. Why bother writing anything unless it’s going to be a best-selling novel or something highly acclaimed? I was so terrified of mediocrity.
But as I’ve gotten older and had kids, my priorities have shifted. I’ve started to do things just because I enjoy them…not because I’m trying to impress anybody or achieve great success. It’s such a more peaceful way to live! I realized that I had two choices: start doing something little by little, or sit back and do nothing because of fear and unmet expectations. It feels a lot better to do something! Getting older and wiser is kind of awesome, isn’t it? 😉
Alyssa it sounds like we are super similar! And yes getting older IS awesome. Now if only we could slow time?
Your husband had such a powerful point. I didn’t factor kids into my original dreams either. In my original dreams, they came, but much later. I was already a household name and celebrity with a nanny by the time they came..right?
Wrong!!
And so many of my dreams have expanded to include my children. And of course, some are waiting in the wings for more time.
Kristen,
I love this! Our definitions of success do change, and I totally agree that this is a time of rediscovery. I also love (and agree with!) your positive attitude toward it! No wonder you have been, and continue to be, so successful! I can’t wait to see where it takes you (and me!). Thanks for this! Ann
Kristen this is absolutely beautiful! Yes, our dreams do change and the wonder of it all is that we have the ability to continually reach for those changing dreams and become what we want to be. Sometimes we just need time and good encouragement, like your husband gave you.I love this, thank you for sharing! I am glad our paths have crossed 🙂
I can’t wait to see where live takes us, too. While, at times, I miss all the good of my corporate career, seeing my son embrace Pretty Wellness and proactively suggest something healthy to do, makes me melt. I had a lot of “wins” on my own and with my team/bosses but the feeling of a true family win means the most.
I can totally relate to this. I’m a sports info director at a D-1 university, and travel with women’s basketball. I love what I do, but cannot fathom doing it anymore since having my daughter. I’d like another child but refuse to have another with my current schedule as it is, never mind that I can’t afford to. I saw someone mention it above, but I too was told that a college degree is the pathway to unlimited choices… yet it feels like a shackle. I can’t quit because I owe tens of thousands in student loans, yet I make just enough to cover student loan payments and daycare.
I’m one of two mom SIDs in my conference, the other does not travel. It’s hard seeing the ego-driven twenty-somethings, and knowing they look down on me for not being as “dedicated” (ie not working 24/7, and taking off for my daughter’s many illnesses). Before I had my daughter, I was that person looking down on moms who seemed to “give up” after having kids.
The other tough thing is that I chose this particular profession not only because I love working in sports, but also because flexibility seemed guaranteed. Other than games, I can do every other part of my job remotely. Yet, the idea of telecommuting is a huge no-no. I’m lucky to have a supervisor who is okay with working remotely when my daughter is sick, but department policy forbids a regular telecommuting arrangement. (Not sure if it’s actual policy, or culture – but I got a giant resounding “NO” when I submitted a proposal on a two-day-per-week telecommuting schedule. I would have had to take a 40% pay cut for “missing” two days of office hours.)
I’m so burned out that all I want to do is quit and stay home. But finances don’t allow, and other jobs look so boring!
Michelle thank you for taking the time to comment. I am in awe that you’re an SID AND a mom. That is a TOUGH balance. You travel, work odd hours and are the lifeline to your team. THAT would be a hard job to stick with for sure post kids.
First don’t worry about the young girls looking down on you – I used to do that too when I was young and foolish. You know that you are invaluable and it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks other than your superior. And second, I know other jobs look boring. I wanted to be an ESPN NBA sideline reporter…and look at me now! Writing, blogging, doing PR & Social, hosting a web show and STILL freelancing as a home sideline reporter for the HEAT. All of my ‘jobs’ are interesting and challenging and still rewarding, but most of them I can do from home.
I bet if you really looked at your talents you could start your own PR firm and work from home. I know a woman who does it and she reps big name athletes like Dara Torres. Change your perspective – you might surprise yourself! I’d love to know what school you work for and chat with you about balance someday! You’d make a great profile! If interested email me at mommyinsports@gmail.com. Or if you just want to chat further! 🙂
Oh, how I needed to read this today. I am right smack-dab in the middle of a huge transition period in my life and I feel like I am floundering, floundering, flapping around in the breeze. I have such a hard time figuring out what I want sometimes….like when my other girlfriends are planning trips to Mexico and I am trying to just afford the organic cheese at the grocery store. Or my husband decides he doesn’t want to live with us anymore and moves out to go “think.” Or when my mother in law insists I hang with her on mother’s day when all I really want to do is lie in bed with my eyes closed past 7AM.
Things do change – change is the only constant. I think it take a whole lot of bravery to roll with the punches and enjoy every moment because for me, that’s the hardest part. i don’t like changing my goals because when i make them, I hold tightly to them. Hard to enjoy every moment when sometimes, shit sucks. It’s all a matter of perspective, though, and it is so, so encouraging to see I’m not the only one who goes through this.
Pinned, Tweeted, and loved.
I wrote a LONG response to this and didn’t go through. I’m SO sorry you are going through all of this. All I can offer is life takes you where you are supposed to go. Feel what you need to feel…but try to celebrate the little things each day. Gratitude journals rock too!
What a beautiful post. Today is my birthday and I’m turning 33. I’m not sure where I pictured myself at this age but I wouldn’t change it for the world. That is what makes life fun and interesting. Sometimes you don’t know where your headed but it might be an even better path than you pictured. Thanks for sharing on Turn It Up Tuesday.
What a wonderfully true and well written article. It is amazing how our perceptions and priorities change as we get older. Finally in my 40’s I have learned to not care as much about what other think and have learned to soak up my life just the way it is!
You plan should always evolve, just as you do. Thanks for posting. Hello from Turn It Up Tuesdays.
Thank you for sharing! Thirty something is a great time of life. I, too, have made similar discoveries, but for me it wasn’t until I reached 50 something. 🙂
I followed your link thru the Monday Madness link up, and I’m very glad I did. I am joining your email list, so I receive your next article.
I absolutely agree. I’m in my 30’s now and I still revise my bucket list. Some dreams I have to delete because my priorities and views have changed, some I have to add. It’s an adventure. 🙂
Thanks for sharing this. I’m glad someone finally did.
Thank you for your kind comment and reading! Life is definitely an adventure!
Such a great content!!! Keep inspiring us all