Jenn Collins is a social media manager, and mother of two. I was moved when I stumbled upon this post she wrote on Facebook. I asked if I could publish it…because we all could use a little grace in our lives! You can follow her on twitter @jenncollins for more musings on motherhood.
By: Jenn Collins
My two-year-old son was pushed, kicked, and hit in the face at the park last week. (he’s fine!) The other boy looked to be about the same age, and his mother heard my son crying. She did a time out with her son, but never apologized to me or even really acknowledged the situation. My momma claws came out internally, because I’m not a confrontational person. If the tables were turned my first instinct would be to fall over myself apologizing on behalf of my son.
Although I didn’t say anything out loud, I was raging on the inside. Was I angry? Yes. Did I want to yell at the mom and the other boy? Totally. Would it help the situation? Not even a little bit.
I realized a few days later that maybe the other mom (who was breastfeeding her newborn at the time of the incident) was just trying to survive the day. Maybe her son was still was still adjusting to having a sibling and taking it out on my son. I’ve been that mom with a newborn and a toddler. It’s tough. Maybe she was mortified – which would explain her lack of eye contact towards me or conversation. You never know what’s really going on with someone. It made me realize I need to give more grace. Because when I mess up (or my kid does), I desperately need grace too. #sameteam #stopthemommywars.
Thanks to Jenn for her insight and sharing her loving perspective. Would you have said something to the other mother? Or would you have forgiven, as Jenn did?
Love love love!!! I have been on both sides of this. Every time I’m on the side where my kid is the terror it makes me realize more and more how much grace I need to give! It’s easy to think some kid is just a little brat all the time, but chances are they have so many wonderful qualities and we just caught them during a bad moment. I’m a work in progress remembering this, so I always appreciate these reminders!
Ooooh…this is a toughy. My kids are currently 2.5 and 7 months, so I know firsthand the stress that mama was under. I know what it’s like to leave the house (unintentionally) with your slippers on; I know what it’s like to try in vain to get food on the table for your toddler, while your newborn wants to nurse until the cows come home; I know what it’s like when you feel like you just can’t do it all.
However.
I don’t mean to be Judgy McJudgePants, but, I do think the mother should have apologized for her son’s behavior. (For me, saying I am sorry would have been an involuntary response.)
Not that I had it all together back then. And I still don’t. Although I would have apologized, I still would have felt like a failure and ended up crying when I got home. But then, I wouldn’t have even made it to the park in the first place right after I had #2. Hell, showering was deemed a major victory.
I love your insight and hearing another perspective. I agree, I would have apologized. And I wouldn’t have been able to hold my tongue as Jenn did. But I have learned as I’ve gotten older to think before I speak, and really analyze, is what I’m about to say really going to help the situation?
Except with my husband…still working on that! And you are totally not Judgy McJudgePants…all opinions are welcome!