When I was younger I loved coming home from school to find little surprises my mom might leave for me on my bed. So today I smiled as I left new shorts for our older daughter. I picked them up while she was in school as she needed new ones, and I thought she’d be thrilled with the floral embroidery. Her new favorite spring trend.
“Thanks, mom,” she said half-heartedly. I asked if she didn’t like them and she assured me she did. “But everyone else wears short shorts. Why can’t I?”
Ah. So we’re here. I didn’t think we’d get to the “everyone else” phase until cell phones or cars were being discussed.
“Well, we aren’t everyone else,” I told her. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but those shorts are spectacular! I wish they made them in my size.” I tried to make a joke but she wasn’t buying it.
I know what she’s talking about too. Her friends sometimes come home with us from school in itty-bitty cut off jean shorts. And we see them even shorter at stores – you know where you can see actual butt cheeks. Yeah sorry, not happening.
I get it, she wants to fit in, but she’s NINE. School isn’t a fashion runway, it’s a place to learn. And while we appreciate her individuality, and don’t want her to feel ashamed of her body, we simply don’t want her bum exposed.
I’m not sure what the designers were thinking when they came up with Daisy Dukes for kids, but why so young? We won’t be buying them, not for the foreseeable future anyway.
I felt bad later in the evening and questioned my judgment. It’s so hard as a parent when you come to new milestones and have to rely on your intuition. So I asked my husband, “Am I limiting her individuality? Am I being a hypocrite and not allowing her to be who she wants to be?”
“No,” he said, “you’re making sure her underwear isn’t showing.”
So we decided together that she can wear shorter shorts to the beach, or for hanging out, but not at school. Let’s stop pressuring our kids to grow up so fast. Let’s stop asking them to look and act like adults. Let’s let them be little.
And please let’s keep their fanny’s covered.
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If everyone realized how much fecal matter is being spread everywhere by not covering up bums, they would probably not go out again with their fannies hanging out. It’s gross. Believe it or not, there is fecal matter on the cleanest of bottoms and when you dont cover it, it gets on everything you sit on. And you sit in the fecal matter that other unclothed bottoms have left behind. Gross!!!!! Can you imagine how much fecal matter is in school where you have children who have not mastered their hygiene techniques?? I have 3 children, 2 boys, 1 girl. Anyone who is a parent and is being honest knows that a child’s bathroom cleanliness takes a while to master. I say keep bottoms covered as much as possible. Otherwise, the poop is just being smeared.
Its a safety issue. Sexual predators and traffickers out there in public places. Wearing Short shorts can attract the wrong kind of attention from the wrong kind of people. Like it or not, there are consequences from what we do. Many people disregard this to their regret.
Women need to be socialized for something else besides fitting in no matter what, peer acceptance at all costs,, thinking that anything goes, and that you should disregard anything regarding safety awareness because the world is supposed to look out for you. Teach common sense and safety awareness instead of brainwashing, and in that way they might genuinely avoid being a victim . This is the PARENTS’ JOB, not the job of the school, peer group, the imternet or the culture at large.
I, 100%, agree with you! Good for you for setting the boundaries . I have five sons, no daughters. And although I always wanted a girl, I’m glad I didn’t have one. She is lucky that you even allowed her to have short shorts in her wardrobe, even if I is for the beach. I don’t think I could allow them even at the beach. Like you said she is nine years old. Little girls butts shouldn’t be hanging out of their clothes. I don’t even agree that older girls or women should expose themselves.
I went to Disneyland with my five year old one day. We were in line for a ride in Fantasy land and standing in front of us was a “mother” with her two daughters probably ages 12 & 15. Both wearing the shortest shorts I have ever seen. They wear literally cut like bikini bottoms. Needless to say, their entire butt was hanging out and in my little boys face! It was disgusting! But even more disgusting than their butt, was their “mother” for allowing it!
I don’t like what’s happening in this day and age. It’s not about body shaming, it’s about having some decency and dignity.
Stop the double standard says
The shorts I see on the girl on the right are short enough. Now we need to address the issue of why more boys and men do not wear real shorts. The “shorts” that most males wear today are actually half pants, Capri pants, and cropped pants.